Memory In My Heart
by ElaineDex
Summary: Can a memory from Bucky's time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?
1. Chapter 1

****Date : 12.04.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 1**** ** **of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepencies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 ** **Six Months After Civil War****

"How did this happen?" Captain Steve Rogers asked of T'Challa and his sister, Shuri as they stood in the centre of the wrecked lab in Wakanda.

Shuri bowed her head guiltily and Steve softened his expression as T'Challa sighed.

"I do not know," he replied, his voice tense, "But I can assure you, I intend to find out."

Steve nodded and raked a hand through his hair. T'Challa had been away on business when Shuri's science lab had been attacked by seemingly invisible assassins and unsurprisingly their target had been Bucky.

"It has to be your Government does it not?" T'Challa asked as Steve brooded.

"Why them?" Steve eventually asked and T'Challa gave a rueful smile.

"Because nothing besides your friend has been taken…and because Tony Stark has more reason than anyone to come for him."

"You think Tony did this?" Steve asked, shock clear on his face. He hadn't thought his old friend would resort to measures like this just to get to Bucky, but what if he had? After a moment or two he shook his head though, answering his own question as he said, "No. If this was Tony we'd be looking at Bucky's body right now, not an empty cryo chamber."

T'Challa nodded then said, "I will begin to make inquiries. You are welcome to stay as long as you need…I will be in touch."

Steve held out his hand and T'Challa shook it.

"Thank you and I'm sorry…for this…" Steve said, indicating to the ruined lab.

"'Tis not I who requires that particular apology," T'Challa smiled before leaving Steve with Shuri.

When they were alone, Steve opened his mouth to repeat his words, but Shuri held up a hand and began to lead him toward windows that overlooked a vast plane of land. They stood for a moment, taking in the majestic view before Shuri spoke.

"Sergeant Barnes and I hadn't really began work on his rehabilitation. I had ideas, plans, but we had only just taken him out of cryogenic sleep a few days ago and we were letting him recover."

Steve nodded, reluctant to speak, wanting her to continue.

"It was strange," Shuri began again, "It was almost as though he sensed something…"

"What do you mean?" Steve couldn't help but ask.

"He wrote you something," Shuri replied, reaching into a pocket concealed within her robe. "He asked if I would ensure you received it should anything like this happen." She ran her fingers over the envelope for a moment before handing it to Steve, keeping hold of one end when Steve grasped the other.

"You must find him Captain…I fear for him."

Steve nodded, worry for his friend creeping into his own heart and somehow he managed to wait until Shuri left him alone before he tore open the letter.

 ** _ _ **Steve**__**

 ** _ _ **If you're reading this then I guess my concerns weren't so unfounded after all. I don't want you to put yourself in danger coming for me, but knowing the Steve that I do I know you will anyway.**__**

Steve couldn't help the small smile that tilted the corners of his mouth before he continued to read.

 ** _ _ **If the US have me, then they may use the same team of scientists and doctors that HYDRA did - maybe its a long shot, I dunno, but if it's the case there was one Doc who might be willing to help. She was there every time I returned from the more recent missions. She was different, kind, things didn't hurt quite so much with her around. She was there, in Washington, when S.H.I.E.L.D went down. Her name was Molly, she always told me her name, every damn time, but I never answered her. I remembered, but I wasn't kind…I wasn't me. Anyways, I'll ask you again, don't put yourself or your friends in danger for me.**__**

 ** _ _ **With you to the end of the line…always…Bucky.**__**

Steve tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"And you, Buddy," he whispered, "And you."

 ** **OoOoOoO****

Doctor Molly Evans placed the hold-all that she'd just packed onto her bed and zipped it up. Debating whether to flee or not had taken her the best part of three days…ever since the letter had arrived informing her that she was needed again. There hadn't really been an option to refuse, but Molly wanted nothing more to do with S.H.I.E.L.D or the Government or the programs they ran. No, she wanted no part of whatever they were planning next…

She shook her head as she thought of the man she'd been instructed to treat the last time. The Winter Soldier they'd called him…it had been horrific…and despite the fact that the Soldier had killed one of her colleagues in the lab when he'd lost control she'd felt compelled to stay, to try and ease his suffering as best she could…after all, it had been her fault…

The doorbell rang, jolting her from her thoughts and frowning, knowing she wasn't expecting anyone, not just yet anyways, she picked up the hold-all and stuffed it beneath the bed. Heading downstairs, she composed herself behind the front door, trying to not look like she was about to run away before she opened it, her brows furrowing as a tall, broad-shouldered man, holding a toolbox and wearing a baseball cap turned to face her.

Her mouth formed an 'O' as the man removed his sunglasses and she recognised him.

"Captain Rogers…" she said.

T'Challa's intel had confirmed his theory, that the US Government was indeed behind Bucky's kidnapping and after some digging and a little help from his friends, Cap had located the Scientist. The first thing Steve noticed about the woman Bucky had wanted him to find, aside from the shocking difference in their height (the top of her head barely reached the middle of his chest) was her hair and the way it bounced around her shoulders in beautiful auburn curls. Internally he shook his head…Bucky always did love a redhead.

"Doctor Evans?" he asked and when she nodded he said, "May I come in….?" and he glanced around, hoping she got that he didn't want to talk on her doorstep.

Molly stepped back and indicated he enter her home and as he passed her she closed the door and said, "I heard you'd gone rogue, but I didn't think that involved being a handyman…"

She offered him a quizzical smile and he removed the baseball cap, laughing just a little.

"The best I could come up with on short notice…" he said, then nodding toward the kitchen he asked, "Can we sit down?"

Molly shrugged, "Sure…" and led the way through, pulling out a chair and sitting down, wondering what on earth Captain America wanted with her. As he joined her, Steve said, "I believe that you used to work on The Winter Soldier program at S.H.I.E.L.D…"

As he paused, Molly's heart sank and she nodded, "That's right…and after what happened in Washington I stayed on long enough to help with the clean-up then I quit…"

Steve saw the apprehensive look on her face and quickly pressed on, "I have reason to think that you may be contacted again…" but he stopped as she shook her head.

"I already have been, but there is no way I am going back there…I can't…the things I…we…did…" she closed her eyes, "…I just finished packing, I'm leaving before the car comes for me later…"

Steve swallowed. "They have Sergeant Barnes again…Bucky…my friend…he told me to find you…he remembered you; said you were kind to him…"

Molly's breath hitched as Captain Rogers called the Soldier by his real name and her heart pounded in her chest when he told her that he remembered her.

"I…." she began, uncertain how to respond as memories of her time with the Program filled her mind again. "I felt bad for him…what they did to him." She stopped for a moment, looking at Steve before glancing away. "After the mission where he was sent to target you and Black Widow he was different…erratic…he killed one of my colleagues…"

"I'm sorry…" Steve began, but Molly cut him off. "You don't understand," she said, "It was my fault…I thought I was helping…" she shook her head and bit her bottom lip.

Steve reached across the small kitchen table and touched her arm.

"Help me to understand," he said, "Tell me what happened…"

Molly hesitated, but eventually she took a breath and said, "It wasn't what I signed up for. I hated what they did to him each time he returned; the beatings, the mind wiping…he was in a lot of pain…" she pinched at the bridge of her nose, the images of the time vivid in her minds eye.

"I managed to find a way to reduce the severity of the 'brainwashing', so that each time he would retain something instead of losing everything he'd just experienced. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing of course and when he returned from fighting you it was a real breakthrough…though Pierce didn't see it that way. Sergeant Barnes said he knew you…that you knew him… My colleague was trying to repair his arm at the time, but he became agitated and angry, Barnes flipped and threw him across the room…"

She took a moment before she went on.

"It was my fault. If I hadn't reduced the dosage…"

Steve squeezed her arm.

"It was because of you that Bucky realised that there was something more to him…something better out there…that he wasn't just a killer. He wanted to find out about himself, about who he used to be, to get better. He got away from HYDRA because of you."

Molly looked skeptical.

"Hardly," she replied and Steve decided to bite the bullet.

"I need your help Doctor Evans…I know it's a lot to ask, that you don't want to go back, but you're the only plan I have to free Bucky right now. I have things worked out to minimise danger to you and…" he paused as Molly stood and he could see that she was about to say no and so he stood too and pulled the letter Bucky had written and passed it to her.

Against her better judgement, Molly lowered her eyes to the paper and read the lines, her head and heart switching places when Bucky mentioned her. She had feelings that she shouldn't, had done for some time and she knew she shouldn't let them cloud her decisions.

When she was done reading and thinking she rested her hands against the back of one of the kitchen chairs and sighed deeply.

"Alright….what do I have to do?"

 ** **OoOoOoO****

When Bucky woke he felt groggy, but as he came to he realised that he was shackled to an operating table. He opened his eyes, anger growing inside of him when he saw that he was in some kind of lab, but he knew instinctively that he was no longer in Wakanda. It was then that he felt the pain on his left side and turning his head he saw the gleaming metal of a new cybernetic arm.

He let out a cry of pure rage, making the scientists working at nearby stations jump in fright and then he heard a voice he didn't recognise from somewhere behind him.

"Welcome back Sergeant Barnes…"

End of Chapter One


	2. Chapter 2

****Date : 16.04.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 2 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"You sure about this?" Steve's other best friend, Sam Wilson, asked as they watched Doctor Evans walk away from the car. "Thought you were all about keeping the civilians out of it…"

Steve heard the tinge of bitterness in Sam's tone and understood where it came from. His friend was still a little sore about Bucky's reappearance in his life and his obvious loyalty to the other man despite what he'd done.

"If I had any other choice, you know I wouldn't have gone to her…but Bucky seems to trust her and she's the only one who can tell us what's going on in there…and hopefully help me get him out."

Sam grumbled for a moment then muttered, "Us…"

Steve turned to look at his friend, "Huh?"

"Us…help __us__ get him out…" Sam grudgingly replied.

"Sam, I don't expect…"

Sam cut him off. "I know how much this son of a bitch means to you…because…well, it doesn't matter, but I want to help. I'll always help, you know that."

Steve smiled, "Thanks Sam."

They exchanged a look before turning to watch as Molly disappeared out of sight, heading back home to where she was due to be picked up by Bucky's captors.

"Now all we have to do is wait," Steve said and Sam sighed and slid further down into his seat.

 ** **OoOo****

Molly paced her lounge floor as she waited for the government car to arrive. The plan was simple enough; she would go back, pretend to be happy to be there and assess what was happening with Sergeant Barnes…Bucky…

She closed her eyes briefly as nerves made her stomach flip.

Once she was sure of her role and that she was back into the fold she would get the lay of the land and try to ensure that the 'brainwashing' dosage was kept low, as she had been doing previously and then, once she knew where they were sending Bucky on his first mission she would contact Steve and tell him so that he could intercept his friend and get him to safety. She had told Steve that this might take some time…days…maybe even longer, but the Cap had assured her that it was okay, that she should stay calm and just do what she needed to in her own time. She wasn't stupid though; she knew that time was of the essence and that Bucky needed to be freed before any more damage could be done to him…before he became the deadly assassin that he once was.

She lifted her head as she heard a car pull up out front and a quick glance out of the window confirmed that it was her ride as she saw a gleaming black saloon sat waiting ominously by the kerb. Taking a quick last glance around her lounge she took a shaky breath and headed out, locking up before walking slowly toward the car.

Steve had the spare keys to her house now and was planning to stay there with Sam, his friend, once she had been collected so that she could call the house if she had to, under the pretence of checking in with her mom, who would be looking after her fish. She didn't have any fish, but it was easier to lie about them than to pretend that she had a dog. A dog could be checked up on…fish…not so much. She tried not to feel panicked as the car door was opened for her by a burly man in a suit and shades and she slid into the back seat, praying that the communication device that the Black Widow had secured beneath her left breast…right up against her top rib…didn't come loose. Natasha had assured Molly that when she was frisked, as she would no doubt be when she arrived at the facility, she would not be patted down right up under her boob and Molly hung onto that assurance now. Black Widow knew her stuff and she had to trust in that. Apparently the device was scanner proof too…it had looked like a good piece of tech but despite Molly's inquisitiveness about it there had been no time to discuss details.

As they passed the car that Steve and Sam where waiting in, Molly looked out of the opposite window, pretending to look at the park on the other side unable to help but wonder if she would ever see it again…ever see her house again. As she took a deep breath, the man who was sat in front beside the driver turned in his seat and handed her a large envelope.

"Your briefing notes, Doctor Evans…" he said as she took the pack from him, "…you should take a look now, things are moving along pretty fast and you'll need to be up to speed."

She nodded in response and opened the envelope, feeling a little sick as she read the title.

 ** _ _ **THE WINTER SOLDIER PROGRAMME**__**

It made it sound so simple…like some innocent project or daft notion…but she knew only too well what it entailed and the idea behind it, and there was nothing innocent about it.

 ** **OoO****

Bucky had lost all track of time. He'd tried to keep a check, tried to fight ,but deep down he knew that without help, it was useless. The stuff HYDRA had put into his head was still there. Shuri had not had a chance to work on freeing him from it before he'd been taken from Wakanda. He hoped that she was alright; the last thing he remembered as he'd been wrestled to the ground before being knocked out, was Shuri seemingly holding her own against two guys, her lab getting more and more bust up by the second. Bucky clenched his own hand into a fist as thoughts of revenge ran through his mind…a mind that was at that moment, still his own. For how long though was anyone's guess.

He looked up as a group of Doctors and Scientists entered the large room where he was being kept and he found himself looking for her, his eyes seeking out her auburn hair, but how did he know that Shuri had even managed to pass his letter on to Steve? How did he know that even if she had that the Scientist would help? Because of a hunch? Because she'd been kind to him? Because of the way she'd looked at him the last time?

Bucky shook his head at that one. If she'd looked at him in any kind of way it had been out of pity or maybe even remorse, but if there was one thing he was not these days it was a lady's man. Not that he'd been much of one back in the day…though he'd lay a bet that Steve would argue the point on that one.

No, if she was going to help it would because she was a good person, because she knew that what was being done here was wrong…not just wrong for what they were doing to him, but for the damage he could inflict upon others as The Winter Soldier.

The sound of the heavy security doors sliding back into position made his eyes look that way and that was when he saw her, stood just to the side, her arms laden with files and ring binders which she clutched against herself as though her life depended upon it. She was nervous and he silently willed her to look his way.

 ** **OoO****

Molly had watched Bucky from an overhead observation room for the best part of an hour whilst the guy who had been put in charge of their team talked about the 'project' and the 'subject' and the programme and though she knew she hadn't been listening as intently as she should, she couldn't help the way her eyes kept straying to the glass and to where Bucky, dressed only in black cargo trousers, sat restrained to a large chair below them.

He had a new arm, but then she knew that…it had been in her notes. She wondered if it hurt. He looked tired…was he cold?

As the room began to empty she realised that they were making their way down to the lab and she collected her things and followed, nodding to the soldier guarding the blast doors as she passed into the room last and they slammed shut behind her a moment later making her grasp the files she held even more tightly against her.

As her colleagues began to move to their stations, she felt Bucky's eyes on her and despite every instinct telling her to look at him, she resisted. She needed to ground herself first, to assess the new lab and the people around her; some were new, but others she remembered from the last time. Whether it was luck or a miracle, she had been assigned the same role that she had had before, so in theory, she should be able to control what she needed to without much interference…

 _'_ _ _Or any at all…'__ she silently prayed to herself.

Aside from his new arm, Bucky was still himself. The first memory suppression experiments were due to start later that day and she didn't know how much dialling back she'd be able to get away with on this initial run. They'd be being watched and she had to be careful for now…

She got her station set up and eventually let herself glance over to where Bucky was having straps fitted to his arms and legs and once her colleagues were done, she spied a chance to approach him with the pretence of checking the plates that would emit the charge that would run through his brain later. Just the thought of it made her shudder.

At first he didn't look up at her, but as she leaned over him to fiddle about with the plates either side of his head and her body blocked his view of the others in the room, Bucky let his gaze move slowly upwards and finally their eyes met. Molly suddenly wanted to say a hundred things, to tell him that it would be alright, that Steve was going to get him to safety, but the way his blue eyes bored into hers took her breath and all she managed was an almost imperceptible nod of her head.

Bucky's eyes instantly softened and he let out a short sigh of relief.

She was in and if she was, so was Steve.

Finding her voice, Molly murmured quietly, "I'd really love a hot dog right now…" She hoped to god that he understood….Steve had told her to mention hot dogs to Bucky if she got the chance, told her that it would be like a sign to his friend and it seemed to work because for a second his eyes sparkled, but then he lowered his gaze and a hard look settled over his features as a voice she recognized from the last time said, "Talking to the subject again Doctor Evans…" referring to the way she'd always spoken to the Soldier previously.

Molly grimaced and turned to face one of the scientists from their first time around, a man who had been friends with the Doctor that Bucky had killed in the old lab. He was a lech and an asshole and Molly wanted even less to do with him than she did with this programme…and that was saying something.

"Yes, Doctor Hanning. I find he's more responsive if you treat him like the human being he is…" she replied, hating to speak about Bucky as though he wasn't there, but since she had no choice…

"A human being…" Hanning scoffed, glancing at Bucky who kept his eyes carefully lowered as the Scientist went on "…well, what bit of humanity he might have gotten back won't be there for much longer; you'll see to that won't you." He looked back at Molly, smiling at her in a way that turned her stomach and without answering, Molly moved back to her station, Hanning's horrible chuckle ringing in her ears.

Bucky's fists clenched as he watched Hanning laughing and following Molly with his beady eyes and when the Scientist turned to look back at him he gave him a cold, hard stare, one that seemed to momentarily unnerve the Doctor. After a moment though he gave Bucky a smug smile and moved away and slowly Bucky unclenched his hands, but something about Hanning made him uneasy and left him with a bad taste in his mouth.

 ** **OoO****

Darkness had long since fallen before Steve and Sam let themselves into Molly's home and after giving the place a quick security check, they made themselves comfy.

"Realistically, how long do you think it'll be before we hear from her?" Sam asked and Steve sighed.

"I don't know, but I don't think we need worry about missing a call tonight. Get some sleep whilst we have the chance…"

Sam stood and made for the couch, glancing back at Steve and grinning. "What? You wouldn't fit on here anyways…"

 ** **OoO****

"Enough…" Molly said, Bucky's screams more than she could bear any longer. She dialled the machine right down and off and as Bucky sat panting, his arms and legs still fighting against the restraints, she turned to face the head of the military division who was watching over the proceedings.

"Why have you stopped Doctor Evans?" he asked, looking none too pleased with her decision and Molly squared her shoulders as she answered him.

"We cannot get too heavy handed with the treatment this soon. Too much early damage could remove parts of his previous training. He's been away from the facility for some time now. He has physical training tomorrow and I..I just think that pushing too quickly will not be beneficial for us."

The man studied her for a moment, but she held his gaze and eventually he nodded.

"Alright."

Turning to the remaining Scientists in the lab he said, "Clear the room, Doctor Evans will secure everything for the night."

As her colleagues collected their belongings, he turned back to Molly he said, "I trust you know what you are talking about Doctor, but remember, we need the Soldier back…and soon."

Molly nodded and he added, "Two of my men will secure the doors once you have finished."

"Thank you," Molly said, trying not to sag in relief when he finally walked away. It seemed he had not noticed that she hadn't had the machine on full whack and thank Christ she hadn't because Bucky's pain had been plain for all to see. Glancing up she found the observation room was empty and a quick check toward the doors saw the two military soldiers with their backs to the open blast doors. For now she was alone.

Moving to the medical station she readied a syringe of pain meds and placing a cap on the needle she placed it into her lab pocket and crossed to where Bucky sat restrained, the bare skin of his chest and arms slick with sweat from the exertion of fighting the procedure he had just endured.

"Bucky…" she whispered his name, tentatively reaching out to touch his cheek, but at first he turned his head away and closed his eyes, but she didn't give up and touching his other cheek she tried again, "Bucky…it's me…it's…" she stopped as he cut her off, opening his eyes and turning his head to look at her as he said, "Molly….you're Molly…"

She smiled. She couldn't help it, but then his face creased in pain and she reached into her pocket and produced the syringe, pulling the cap off and when Bucky made a noise she glanced at him.

"Its pain killer, nothing more I promise…"

He nodded once and she looked at his arm. His veins needed no encouragement to be found and she injected the pain medication as gently as she could. After a moment or two, the tension in his body began to ease and after taking another look around she moved closer and said, "Your friend, Steve, he's got a plan…you're not alone…"

"Steve…" Bucky repeated the name, knowing that it meant something, but his head felt fried and he closed his eyes as tiredness swept over him.

Molly wanted to grab a blanket and cover him, but if she showed any signs that she cared more than she should, she knew she would fall under suspicion and so she moved to a nearby heat lamp and flicked that on instead. It would provide some warmth throughout the night so that Bucky wouldn't be too uncomfortable.

Moving back to Bucky's side she said softly, "I have to go…I'll see you tomorrow though…"

He looked up at her and she felt his fingers…his own…moving against her side and she looked to find that he was trying to reach for her and she placed her own against his.

"Thank…you…" he managed and she squeezed his hand.

"Just hang in there and...keep remembering…" she said and as hard as it was, she moved away, packed up her station and left the lab, the soldiers closing the massive doors behind her and as she made her way to the temporary accommodations that all the Scientists had been given within the facility, she was unaware that Doctor Hanning had witnessed the last few moments of her exchange with Bucky, albeit without sound, and he moved away from the observatory room window, another smug smile upon his face.

End of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

****Date : 20.04.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 3 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/N : Please excuse my use of Russian further into this Chapter. I had to use Google! Thank you!

OoOoOoOo

The next morning Molly managed to contact Steve and Sam using the communication device and she told them the situation as it was and that things seemed to be moving more quickly than she had thought they would be. It seemed the Government were in some hurry to have The Winter Soldier ready for his next mission and sooner rather than later.

"Do you know anything about it yet?" Steve asked, glancing at Sam who was pacing Molly's lounge floor. "Where they might be sending him?"

"No, but they definitely want him ready within the next few days," Molly replied. "He's holding on for now, but…" she paused, closing her eyes as she remembered how much pain Bucky had been in the night before. "I'll do everything I can to help him, but they want the treatment to be so aggressive and if it gets too much…"

"I know…" Steve said softly, then added, "…and I know you'll do what you can for him and as soon as you know anything more get in touch, okay?"

"I will…" Molly replied.

They cut the connection and Molly reattached the device beneath her breast as Natasha had shown her. She couldn't risk leaving it in her room just in case the powers that be decided to do a spot search…they were paranoid that way.

 _'_ _ _With good reason…'__ Molly thought as she pulled on her lab coat and picked up her notes and taking a deep breath she left and headed to the lab, running into Doctor Hanning en-route and she tried not to grimace as he smiled at her.

"Good morning Doctor Evans," Hanning began before asking, "Did you have fun tucking our Soldier in last night?"

Molly looked at him, but his expression seemed genuine enough and as they headed for the stairs she replied, "Fun is hardly what I would call it."

Hanning smirked at her, moving ahead before calling back over his shoulder.

"You know, you should join me for dinner one evening if you're __that__ lonely…"

Molly stopped in her tracks and Hanning lifted a hand to wave without looking back and even though she opened her mouth, nothing came out. She took a moment, letting her irritation die down before she eventually followed the route Hanning had taken down into the lab.

Bucky wasn't there, but she'd known he wouldn't be. He had physical training with the military soldiers first thing and so she concentrated on setting up her station and trying to calibrate the machine to an even lower setting than she had had it on the day previous, hoping that no-one noticed or asked what she was doing.

 ** **OoO****

Bucky had not wanted to cooperate. He didn't want to fight the military soldiers or run for miles just so that his captors could gauge his fitness levels. He wanted to stand there and let them shoot him as they threatened to if he didn't do what they wanted…even though they all knew what an empty threat __that__ was. They needed him whereas he couldn't care less if he was there or not…aside from the fact that he'd dragged Molly into this now…and Steve and, if he was truthful with himself, he wanted a shot at a normal life or whatever kind of life he could piece together away from people like this.

Gritting his teeth he concentrated on the noise of his feet pounding against the treadmill and decided to embrace the exercise at least. The stronger he got, the worse it would be for them when he broke free…

 ** **OoO****

The day ended much as it had the day before, with Molly finishing the session early and bearing the brunt of the military Colonel's displeasure before being told to shut things down.

"Tomorrow I want more…." the Colonel said with a glower before he left with his entourage and as Molly turned back to her station, Hanning sidled up to her.

"You know…he's going to get suspicious if you carry on like this," he said and Molly looked at him.

"Suspicious of what? There is nothing to be suspicious of…"

Hanning raised an eyebrow and chuckled in his usual sickly way before heading off with the other scientists, leaving her to administer to Bucky again.

"I'm sorry…" she said as she quickly injected another dose of pain meds into his arm, "…there is no way not to go through with that part, but I have been lowering the settings…"

Bucky shook his head and though he didn't speak, his eyes told her that he understood.

"It'll be over soon…" she tried to assure him, wishing that there was a way she could free him right there and then, but she knew they'd never make it out. Impulsively she moved his hair away from his eyes and pressed her palm to his cheek. A noise from the lab room on the other side of the open security doors made her jump and she took a step back, glancing over her shoulder before saying to Bucky, "I'll see you in the morning."

Bucky's eyes followed her from the lab until she vanished from view, but he frowned as he saw one of the other scientists, the one from yesterday…Hanning…move out from behind a piece of machinery in the other room, following Molly, but before he could try to call out, the blast doors slammed shut, cutting him off.

 ** **OoO****

Molly was almost at the door to her quarters when Hanning appeared at her side yet again and her footsteps faltered as he said casually, "How about that dinner?"

"Um…no…I can't, not tonight," she replied, stopping as she reached her door, her heart beginning to accelerate when Hanning leaned against the wall to her right.

"Why not?" he asked, his voice not quite as pleasant as he went on, "Got a certain __Winter Soldier__ to dream about?"

Molly paused in searching for her room key card and looked at Hanning.

"Don't be…" she began, but gasped as Hanning stepped closer and grabbed her elbow painfully, making her wince as he cut her off, "Don't say ridiculous…"

Molly tried to move away from him, but he held her fast, his fingers digging into her skin even through her lab coat.

"I heard what you said to him you know…imagine what would happen if I told…"

It was Molly's turn to cut him off then as fear made her react and she took a step away, snatching her arm from his grasp.

"If you told them what? That I talk to him…they already know that I do that. I always did it…and why would they believe whatever lies you want to create? They trust me with the memory suppression…they didn't put you in charge of it did they…and why was that…?"

She stopped as Hanning all but growled at her and began to move away.

"This isn't done…" he snarled at her as he headed off down the corridor and Molly watched him go, shaking a little and she quickly retrieved her key card with trembling fingers and let herself into her room, locking the door behind her.

"Shit…" she breathed, closing her eyes and wondering if she should contact Steve.

 _'_ _ _And tell him what?'__ she asked herself as she threw her stuff down onto her bed. She didn't know if Hanning would act upon his suspicions and even if he did, what could Steve do from the outside. No, she had to play it cool and if Hanning did speak to anyone, she'd deal with it then…somehow…

 ** **OoO****

The next morning, Molly entered the lab to find Bucky was dressed in full combat gear…still strapped to the chair, but she didn't like the look of it. Military types were milling around in greater numbers than usual and a quick glance up alerted her to the fact that visitors, important ones judging by the cut of their suits, were watching from the observation room.

She risked a glance at Bucky and he met her eyes briefly, his brooding look doing nothing to ease her worries, worries that doubled when she felt someone move close to her side and she turned to see Hanning and she groaned inwardly.

She went to step away, but he placed a hand at the small of her back and Molly ceased moving lest it make the contact worse.

"Did you think any more on what I said?" Hanning murmured, his mouth close to her ear, his eyes on the Winter Soldier who seemed to be scowling at him.

"No…" Molly replied, moving her head away from him and Hanning turned his gaze to her then.

"You meet me tonight or I'll speak to the Colonel about what you've been doing…"

"I haven't been __doing__ anything…" Molly began, making another move to step away, but Hanning shifted his hand from her back to grip her wrist and she couldn't help the gasp and the involuntary jerk of her body as pain shot up her arm as he applied pressure.

"You're __lying!"__ he hissed.

"No…"

 ** **oooo****

Bucky's fists clenched as he watched the exchange between Molly and the other scientist and though he couldn't hear what the guy was saying to her, it was obvious to him what was going on. He began to put pressure on the restraints of the chair that held his new arm down and was maybe seconds away from busting it open when the Colonel who seemed to be in charge shouted for quiet and Bucky stilled, watching as Hanning moved away from Molly and back to his own station.

"Please….Doctors….it has been decided to move proceedings along. Today we will forgo the mind suppression and instead test out how in control of our Soldier we are…"

He held out a hand and someone passed him the small red leather book with the Soviet star engraved upon the front.

Molly swore under her breath.

"Sir…" she began, but the Colonel held up the hand holding the book.

"Doctor Evans, I understand your concerns, but time is pressing…" he gave her a look that told her he would brook no argument and she looked away, her eyes going to Bucky who looked like he wanted to kill someone already.

As the Colonel moved closer to Bucky, Hanning chuckled in that sickly way that he did and Molly turned her back on him, too concerned about what was happening right then. This was not good…not good at all and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

The room quietened as the Colonel stood before Bucky and said, "So, Sergeant Barnes…let's see where this leads us hmmm?"

Bucky didn't respond and the Colonel smirked before opening the book.

"Zhelaniye…Rzhavyy…Semnadtsat…"

The first three words…Longing, Rusted and Seventeen began to have their effect and Molly wrapped her arms around herself as Bucky began to shake his head as though in denial.

"Rassvet…Pech…Devyat…"

Daybreak, Furnace, Nine…

Bucky began to fight harder against his restraints.

"Dobroserdechnyy…Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu…Odin…"

Benign, Homecoming, One…

Molly closed her eyes against the sound of the guttural cry Bucky let out as he won his fight against the restraints of the chair, breaking free and it was only when the Colonel all but shouted the last words, "Gruzovoy vagon," Freight Car, that he stopped, inches from the other man and became silent.

As the Colonel moved and placed the book on the end of her station, Molly knew she had to try something…anything…to stop this. She didn't know if they intended to send Bucky out that day, but she couldn't risk it.

"Colonel, please…" she began as he began to move away and then, for a moment at least, time seemed to slow as Hanning stepped out from behind his station.

"Don't listen to her…she's a traitor!" he yelled and immediately, all the military in the room came to attention.

"Are you out of your mind!" Molly hissed at Hanning, glancing at the Colonel, who was looking between them with some confusion.

"What is this about?" he asked, clearly less than pleased at the untimely interruption.

"He has a vendetta against me because I won't sleep with him!" Molly said, wanting to get her answer in before Hanning did.

The Colonel looked like he was about to blow his stack as some of his men sniggered at the accusation and Hanning went red in the face.

"Get this idiot out of here…" The Colonel said, but as two soldiers stepped forward to grab Hanning, the weasel played his hand.

"Ask her why she's been dialling back the machine on both mind wipes…ask her why she told him it would be over soon…"

Slowly the Colonel turned and looked at Hanning, weighing him up before he faced Molly.

"Is this true?" he asked and even though Molly shook her head, she knew that her guilt was written all over her face. She'd never been able to lie and even if she had, she doubted it would have done her much good now.

As the Colonel muttered his disbelief at the situation that was unfolding, Molly took a step toward the edge of her station and as he told his men to take her, she slammed her hand down hard on a button that she knew would send a dividing wall crashing down between where she, Bucky, the Colonel and Hanning stood and where the rest of the scientists and the Military soldiers where positioned. It was an extra precaution that had been installed along with the blast doors should Bucky become uncontrollable.

"What the hell…" the Colonel began, twisting to ensure he wasn't hit by the wall as it came down and Molly took that opportunity to scramble to where Bucky still stood awaiting orders, his face expressionless.

An alarm began to sound and Molly glanced up to see the 'suits' being evacuated from the observation room above. Turning away, she placed a hand tentatively on Bucky's shoulder.

"Soldat?" she said the word Soldier in Russian and immediately his response came back, "Ya gotov otvechat…"

Ready to comply.

The Colonel swung back to face them after making sure he wasn't hit by the wall, his face contorted with anger and indignation and though it went against everything Molly wanted to do, knowing what it would lead to, she knew she had no option but to say, "Self preserve…leave this place…and…" she paused and as Bucky turned his head to look at her over his shoulder she asked,

"Take me with you?"

End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter 4

****Date : 30.04.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 4 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Self preserve.

That was different.

A myriad of thoughts clamoured to be heard in Bucky's mind as he watched the face of the Military Colonel before him change until he looked like he would self-combust.

".…and…."

Bucky turned his head toward the female voice, looking over his shoulder at the Scientist, his brow furrowing a little as she asked, "Take me with you?"

What was going on? They never ordered him to self preserve. He looked away, lowering his head and as he searched his own mind for answers he heard the Colonel laugh and say, "You stupid bitch!"

Bucky felt the woman's small hand tense against his shoulder and she stepped closer to his back as the Colonel went on, "You think you can control him…you think he will take orders from __you__?!"

To the left, the other Scientist, Hanning, made a strangled snorting noise, backing the Colonel's mockery of the woman and it was then that Bucky heard the tell-tale click of the safety switch of a gun being removed and he lifted his head to see the Colonel aiming at him.

"Step aside Soldier…" the Colonel said and as Bucky felt the woman tremble behind him he took a step forward instead and said, "I already have my orders…" and as his metal arm shot out and he grabbed the gun, the Colonel's eyes gave away his true fear of the situation at hand. The Winter Soldier in self-preservation mode was not a good thing and never before had anyone used the command that the stupid scientist had.

When the Colonel had pulled his gun, time had seemed to slow for Molly and as Bucky stepped forward to deal with him, she watched as though in a dream until movement to her left caught her eye and she gasped and tried to move out of the way as Hanning lunged at her.

"Do you realise what you've done?!" he snarled at her, curling a large hand around her throat as he backed her up against her work station. Molly reached out and clawed at his hand and arm, trying to kick out at him, but he all but flattened her against the desk, his weight bearing down upon her as he spat, "I __knew__ you were up to something, you're going to pay for this, you're…." he stopped abruptly and yet out a yelp which made Molly flinch before suddenly his weight was removed from her as Bucky snatched him away and threw him backwards. Molly glanced over to where the Colonel lay in a heap and she could only assume that he was dead…Hanning she didn't know about and didn't particularly care. She scrambled up off of the desk as Bucky turned to face her and for a moment they looked at one another until Bucky said, "We need to move…"

She nodded and as Bucky turned away, she retrieved the red book from the end of her desk and after slipping it into her lab coat pocket, went to follow him, then remembered there was another way out of the room they were in.

"Wait!" she called to him as he approached the false wall and he stopped and turned to look at her, watching as she moved to a panel on the back wall. "We can go this way, but we'll have be quick…" She began to fiddle with the handle, but it was stiff and unyielding…that was until Bucky came over and tore the entire thing from its hinges.

"Thanks…" Molly murmured and Bucky nodded and grabbed her wrist.

"Stay behind me," he told her and armed with only the Colonel's hand gun, they began to make their way through the narrow emergency route.

"They'll know this tunnel is here…" Molly informed Bucky as they went, "…once they figure out we're not still in there they'll know which way we went."

Bucky didn't reply, merely pressed on, occasionally touching the wall until eventually he stopped and without warning began to smash his metal fist into the material of the wall until there was a big enough hole for them to squeeze through. Whether it was sheer luck or not, Molly didn't know, but as she emerged from the gap she stepped into what appeared to be a store cupboard.

"Where are we?" Bucky asked and she bit her bottom lip.

"I don't know. The basement level somewhere. This is a new facility and I haven't been allowed anywhere other than the lab and my sleeping quarters."

Bucky's jaw clenched and he went to reach for the room door handle, but Molly stopped him, her fingers touching his and whilst he stared at their hands she said,

"Let me look…I'm less conspicuous…"

Bucky stepped back, moving his hand away and Molly tried not to read anything into it. She knew that he had to be confused; that partial memories would start returning to him, that things would seem familiar, but not…

"Why are you doing this?" he asked just as she was about to open the door and Molly paused and without looking at him replied, "Because you wanted me to help you."

When he didn't reply, she turned the handle and slowly inched the door open until she could peep around the frame. The alarm was still going off and there were people rushing by the top of the corridor.

"I think they may be evacuating non-military personnel…" she said, backing into the room and closing the door again and turning to face Bucky she added, "…this corridor is empty, but the top…"and she pointed to indicate which way she meant, "…it's chaos."

Bucky nodded and looked around the small room before looking up to see if there were any vents and whilst he was doing that, Molly realised that she should try and contact Steve whilst she had a chance and she began reaching into her shirt, needing to loosen a couple of buttons to get her hand beneath her bra. She almost had her fingers on the communication device when Bucky's metal hand closed around her arm and she winced.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice calm, but there was an undertone of warning that Molly couldn't miss.

"I have a device…concealed…" she began, her cheeks flushing as his eyes glanced briefly down at her gaping shirt and she quickly finished, "…we…you have friends on the outside who want to help get you away from here. I need to tell them what's happening."

A name came unbidden to Bucky's mind and he released Molly's arm and said, "Steve."

"Yes…" Molly replied, retrieving the device and buttoning up her shirt before showing it to him. "I can contact him using this."

Bucky nodded and said, "You'll have to do it on the move…we need to go…now," and even as he pulled the door open, Molly heard footsteps echoing in the tunnel beyond the cupboard.

Following Bucky from the room, she stayed close behind him as she activated the device and as they pushed through the crowds of other scientists and other personnel, she heard Steve's voice.

"Molly?"

"Everything has gone royally tits up," she told him, her voice wavering as she and Bucky took a flight of stairs, heading to the level above and back at her home, Steve and Sam exchanged a look.

"They moved things up and I had to do something…"

They came to a halt as they encountered five military soldiers and as Bucky began to fight and pick them off, Molly tried to keep out of the way.

"What happened?" Steve asked, his voice urgent as he heard the commotion in the background.

"They moved up the procedure. They were going to activate him and send him out…I…tried to stop it, but one of them was on to me…I had to order Bucky to self-preserve…."

Steve and Sam exchanged another look and Sam muttered, "I don't like the sound of that one…"

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, "What's going on?"

"We're trying to get out…"

Molly gasped as a soldier went flying past her and as Bucky bent to retrieve the man's fallen gun from by her feet he said, "Ask him if the guy with the bird suit is around…we're heading for the roof…"

At the other end Sam made an 'O' with his mouth and stuttered, "I hate him…" and Steve closed his eyes briefly and said, "We're on our way Molly…hang in there…both of you."

Molly bit her lip and when Bucky wrapped his fingers around her wrist she followed him without question, moving when he did and doing everything he told her to as they…or rather he…fought their way through the building. It was brutal and exhausting and by the time they reached the roof, both of them had blood on their hands literally as well as figuratively.

Bucky did what he could to secure the rooftop, but he knew it wouldn't be long before more followed them and as he searched for a way down, Molly tried not to let the shock of what they'd just been through take a hold of her. She'd known things could pan out this way, known what she had ordered Bucky to do…but still…

A loud bang on the rooftop door behind her made her jump and Bucky pulled her away and they crossed to the other end of the roof, as far away as they could get.

"You alright?" he asked her and she nodded, trying to look more confident than she felt. Bucky wasn't convinced and glancing around said, "Look, Molly…we might have to…" he trailed off and before Molly had time to be happy about the fact that he'd remembered her name, Sam landed on the roof ledge, depositing Steve close by.

Bucky stood, immediately on the defence, but Steve raised his hands and said, "I'm Steve….you remember me?"

Bucky nodded once, the sound of banging getting louder even from the other side of the roof and he pulled Molly to his side before pushing her…quite gently for him…towards Sam.

"Get her out of here," he said and Sam pulled a face.

"Now he's ordering me around…he insults me and orders me around…"

"Sam…" Steve said and Sam raised his hands before reaching for Molly, who with some trepidation, let him pick her up before he disappeared off the edge of the roof with her. She resisted the urge to scream as they soared across roof tops and it was only when they landed what seemed like miles away that she allowed herself to breath out in a rush, "Holy shit!"

"Yes ma'am," Sam replied with a grin, handing her the keys to a four door family type saloon car and pointing to the vehicle behind her added, "Get her warmed up…we'll be right back…." and with that he shot off to rejoin Steve and Bucky.

Back on the roof there had been no time for further conversation as the military had broken through the barriers that Bucky had tried to secure the door with within a minute of Sam and Molly leaving and Steve and his friend fought back to back as they waited for Sam's return.

Eventually he swooped in, taking out a few soldiers as he did so, evening out the odds just a little before he circled back again and as he approached, Steve called to Bucky, "Grab onto him any way you can…"

Bucky nodded, backhanding a soldier with his metal hand and as he sent him flying, Sam dove and Bucky grabbed his ankle, Steve grabbing the other and Sam flew them off of the roof.

"I'm gonna have to drop one of you a few rooftops away and come back…." he called out and Steve shouted, "Drop me, get Bucky away from here…"

Sam pursed his lips, but did as requested, leaving Steve on the roof of a bank a few blocks away before continuing on to drop Bucky at the car with Molly and as Sam flew away, Bucky slipped into the passenger seat beside Molly.

She turned to look at him and in the daylight he could see that her neck was starting to show some bruising, probably from where the other Scientist had held her down and as he remembered, more memories came to him of the man, Hanning, the way he'd appeared to hassle Molly in the lab and the night he'd followed her whilst Bucky had been shackled to the chair…

He was about to say something when Sam and Steve landed, causing Molly to jump and as they all but threw themselves into the back of the car, she revved the engine unnecessarily and they took off somewhat jerkily.

"You could have picked something a little quicker…" Molly complained, trying to hide her nerves and Steve leaned forward.

"We need something that blends in…."

"You think you three as passengers blend in?" she asked, glancing at Bucky with his metal arm shimmering in the sun, Sam sat awkwardly with his power pack still on his back and goggles on and Steve…large as life.

The three guys looked at one another, thinking she had a point, before Steve said, "Get us out of town and then I'll take over…I know a safe house we can use."

As Molly took a left, Bucky stayed silent at this piece of information. He was still trying to process the never ending thoughts and memories that were bombarding him and though the idea of getting to somewhere safe was appealing, a part of him wanted to keep running, to break away from Steve and Molly and the bird guy and go it alone…to get away from people altogether, but then, these people had risked their lives for him and he owed them and found himself wanting to know them more...

OoOoO

Back in the lab, Hanning groaned and struggled to get to his feet, his eyes narrowing as he remembered what had happened. He crossed back to Molly's work station and looked around as though looking for clues.

"This isn't done with yet you bitch," he muttered under his breath just as the Colonel's second in command approached him.

"Is there anything missing?" the man asked and Hanning snorted.

"Aside from the best weapon we had?"

His sarcasm earned him a look that told him not to piss about and glancing around he made a realisation.

"She's taken the fucking book!"

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

****Date : 09.05.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 5 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The safe house was not what Molly had been expecting.

She sat up from where she had been dozing against Sam's shoulder as Steve drove down a dirt track that opened up to reveal a large, but modest looking farmhouse.

"This your place?" Bucky asked as Steve parked the car inside a nearby barn.

"I own it, but I don't live here…not yet anyways…" Steve smiled ruefully. "One day soon hopefully. You'll be safe here…no-one else knows about it."

Bucky nodded, but didn't answer. No-one had spoken much in the three hour journey to the house and though it was obvious that there would have to be some kind of discussion soon it was as though everyone had been quite happy to remain in their own heads.

They got out of the car and Sam began lifting things from the trunk; supplies and fresh clothes for himself, Steve and Bucky and Molly noticed that they had brought her hold-all from her house; the one she had packed when she'd been planning on fleeing.

"Thanks," she said, taking the bag from Sam only to have it taken from her by Bucky, who avoided her eyes when she looked at him and Sam and Steve exchanged a look before Steve led the way to the house and let them in.

They all hovered in the hallway until Steve said, "Molly, why don't you go choose a room and freshen up first…there's only one bathroom so Ladies' first…"

Molly glanced at Sam and Bucky who made no objections and so she nodded and taking her bag from Bucky said, "Thank you…" before heading for the stairs.

Once she was gone, Steve moved toward the kitchen with the supplies he carried, Sam and Bucky following and as they placed things down on the counters and table, Steve turned to Bucky.

"Sam and I will be leaving first light. It's best if we disappear for a while to come up with a plan and it will look better if there's just a couple living here…new tenants if anyone should come around…."

"You think its a good idea leaving him alone with the Doc?" Sam asked and Bucky glared at him.

"What the hell do you think I'm going to do to her?" he asked, tensing up and Steve stepped in between them.

"He doesn't think you're going to do anything…do you?" and he looked at Sam pointedly, who grumbled and began to rummage in a bag of groceries. Steve sighed and turned to Bucky who said, "I want to try and get back to that place…where they took me from…" the name escaped him as he tried to make sense of his still forming and jumbled memories.

"Wakanda…" Steve supplied and when Bucky nodded he added, "Shuri wants you to go back there too…but we need to formulate a plan to get you there safely and without detection and that means us laying low for a little while."

"They'll never stop looking for me…" Bucky said and Steve lay a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know, but before we face them again, we need to get your mind healed so that when we do they can't control you any more."

Bucky pulled out a kitchen chair and sank wearily onto it, closing his eyes. He was so tired of running and fighting and hurting.

As Steve and his friend Sam moved around the kitchen, putting things into cupboards and making small talk, Bucky let his mind wander, trying to process things, trying to bring himself out of fight or flight mode. He'd forgotten what it felt like to feel normal, to relax…

Suddenly he stood, the chair he'd been sat upon scraping on the wooden flooring and as Steve and Sam turned to look at him he said, "Knock me out…"

"What?" Steve asked, frowning as a slow grin spread across Sam's face.

"Knock me out," Bucky repeated. "I need to disengage…I need to lose the last mission command…" He sighed frustratedly when Steve looked hesitant and turning to Sam said, "You do it…make it good, I want to be out for a while."

Sam's grin widened, but as he went to step forward Steve placed a hand on his arm and stopped him, looking at Bucky as he said, "Are you sure about this?"

"Normally I'd be put under or they'd use that damn machine on me again and then afterwards my mind would feel clearer…well, empty…it was the same when I crashed the helicopter and you pulled me from the water…" Bucky replied and reluctantly Steve nodded, thinking that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for his friend to get some rest…in whatever form it came.

Stepping aside, he turned his back to Sam and Bucky, wincing a moment later as he heard a fist connecting with Bucky's jaw and the sound of his body landing with a thud as it hit the kitchen floor.

"We should get him upstairs…" Steve said, turning to see Sam rubbing his knuckles.

"That guy has a damn hard head!" his friend complained as they grabbed Bucky's arms and lifted him between them.

"You have no idea," Steve replied fondly.

Once upstairs, they lay Bucky down on one of the beds and made him comfortable, Steve removing his friends' boots and leaving them by the door which they closed on the way out. As they headed for the stairs, Molly emerged from the bathroom and asked, "What's going on?"

"Oh…Bucky's just having a rest…" Sam said, rubbing his knuckles again and Molly frowned and looked to Steve who could see the concern in her eyes and said, "It's alright…he'll be alright…"

Molly nodded and asked quietly, "What's going to happen?"

Steve glanced at Sam who took his cue to leave and headed downstairs, leaving the two of them alone on the landing.

"I need you and Bucky to stay here for as long as it takes Sam and I to come up with a way to get you out of here. It's not safe for you anywhere else right now and we all just need to stay off the radar…"

"You're not staying here too?" Molly asked and Steve shook his head.

"It's best if it's just the two of you. It's less suspicious that way if anyone comes calling. No-one should; the closest neighbours are a couple of miles away, but just in case…you're the new tenants, okay?"

Molly folded her arms and tried to smile.

"Sounds perfect."

Steve reached out and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you for doing this…for helping Bucky. He means a lot to me and I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're safe."

Molly wanted to say that Bucky meant a lot to her too, but somehow it seemed a ridiculous statement given that most of the time she'd spent with him had been to watch him suffer and endure horrors that she never wanted to speak of. Yes she'd helped him, had tried to lessen his pain, but she wished she had been able to do more and so she gave Steve another wobbly smile and thanked him.

"You hungry?" he asked then and when she nodded, he went on, "Come on, let's rustle up something to eat…"

As they headed toward the stairs, Molly glanced at the door of the room Bucky was 'resting' in and took a breath, a kind of nervous tension settling in her stomach at the thought of being alone with him there on the farm.

Later that night, after they'd eaten and cleared everything away, Steve showed Molly where he'd hidden a few things for them to protect themselves with should it become necessary and she shivered as he asked her to show Bucky in the morning.

"You won't be here?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Sam and I will be gone first light…"

And so they were and as Steve drove slowly away from the house, Sam said, "You sure about this?"

Steve nodded but said nothing and Sam knew not to push further.

OoOoOoO

Bucky had awoken sometime in the early hours, finding himself bootless and in a bed, his jaw aching from bird man's punch. Remembering where he was had been surprisingly easy and after lying for a good twenty minutes listening for any movement and hearing none, he had sat up, removed his tight fitting leather jacket and lay back on the bed. Sleep had been another thing that had come as a surprise and when he awoke again he knew it was probably late morning by the way the sun was streaming brightly through a gap in the curtains. He hauled himself from the bed and saw that some piles of fresh clothes had been laid out on a nearby chair and he glanced down at the T-shirt and black cargo pants he was currently wearing. He felt grubby and his eyes felt gritty and making his way into the bathroom he saw fresh towels and the temptation to take a shower became too much and stripping off his clothes he flicked on the water and stepped into the bath, yanking the curtain across with his metal arm with such force that he almost tore the thing down and he shook his head at the thought of not knowing his own strength.

It had been so long since he'd been in any kind of domestic situation that he'd forgotten how fragile things were. He was so used to living in a world were only brute force and violence was necessary that he knew it would take a lot for him to adjust…if he even could because even in Wakanda everything in Shuri's lab had been so clinical and he'd only had time to clean up and have a quick talk with Steve before he'd chosen to be put back into cryogenic sleep.

He got on with showering, reaching for a bottle that looked like it might belong to Steve…some shower gel stuff…and that's when he saw the more decidedly feminine looking products that were on the shelf and he felt his chest tighten as he thought about Molly and what she'd done for him…and the danger she was now in because of him.

He closed his eyes and let the water cascade down over his head, the stream washing away the soap, but not his worries. Maybe it would have been better if he'd never made it out…

But out he was…and he deserved a chance to be free…didn't he?

Reaching out he snapped off the water and more gently this time, moved the curtain aside and snagged a towel from the rail, drying himself before wrapping it low on his hips.

OoO

Molly had been up for hours. She'd assumed Bucky was still asleep or avoiding her and so she'd given him his space, inexplicably nervous to face him. She'd pottered about the house, tidying things that didn't need to be tidied and checked over and over that the front and back doors were secure before eventually deciding to go and get a book from her hold-all. She had just reached the top of the stairs and was crossing the landing when the bathroom door opened and her mouth went dry as she took in the sight of Bucky, a bath towel slung low on his hips, water droplets glistening on his chest and it took her a moment too long to meet his eyes as she couldn't stop herself from staring at him, her own body rapidly feeling like it might internally combust at any second.

The heat spread to her face and as she felt her cheeks burn, she took a step back, her bare foot tangling in her own pyjama leg and she stumbled a little, becoming precariously close to the rail that overlooked the stairwell.

Bucky wasn't sure what to make of the way Molly was staring at him. He knew the scarred, puckered skin around the join of his metal arm wasn't pretty,but she'd seen that before, many times and something told him that the way her skin was turning pink meant that she was staring for an entirely different reason. He was about to ask if she was alright when she took a step back and tripped over the material of her over-long pyjamas and as she stumbled he instinctively moved and reached for her, wrapping his own hand around her arm to stop her going anywhere.

"M-morning…" she stammered, her nerves going haywire as she tried to ignore how good he smelled.

"Hey…" Bucky replied quietly as he tried not to notice how soft her hair looked and for a moment he wondered how it would feel between his fingers.

Willing herself to stop acting like a teenager who was finally talking with her first crush, Molly took a breath and regaining some of her equilibrium asked, "Did you sleep well? Do you feel okay?" She noticed the shadow of a bruise forming on his jaw, only just visible through his stubble and she itched to reach out and touch him.

"I'm fine…" Bucky replied, releasing her arm now that she seemed to have regained her footing, "…and I slept real good…"

Molly noted that he sounded surprised at the fact and that the faintest of smiles hovered at the corners of his mouth. It was good to see him almost smile and she decided there and then that she would like to see him really smile and more often too and that she would try her hardest to make it happen.

Forcing herself to keep her eyes above his collar bones she said, "You must be hungry…fancy some eggs?"

"You don't have to…." Bucky began, but she cut him off.

"I want to. Scrambled or fried?" she asked, moving to the top of the stairs and when she looked back to Bucky she was given her first taste of his smile as he replied, "Scrambled."

End of Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

****Date : 14.05.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 6 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"This is amazing," Bucky told Molly as he literally shovelled another mouthful of eggs into his mouth before biting off a piece of buttered toast and despite her reply of, "It's just eggs," she felt an immense sense of happiness that he was enjoying the breakfast she had made for him.

She poured two cups of freshly brewed coffee and carried them to the table, sitting opposite him, unable to help smiling when he put down his knife and fork with a satisfied sigh.

"I can't remember the last time I ate something so good," he said, reaching for his coffee and Molly grinned.

"Stop it…my head won't fit through the doorway soon."

Bucky smiled before his expression grew serious again.

"I need to thank you…for everything…" he began, but Molly shook her head.

"It's the least I could do," she replied, looking down, focussing on the dark liquid in her cup as she went on, "I was a part of something that caused you pain…and suffering…and I'm not proud of that…"

She took a breath and met Bucky's eyes.

"It wasn't what I signed up for. They recruited me fresh out of Uni and I had no idea what I was walking into, and by the time I did there was no getting out. They made that pretty clear…."

"I knew you were trying to help…I don't blame you for anything…" Bucky said, his voice soft and Molly's heart constricted.

"It took years before I could get into a position to do anything useful for you, but eventually I managed to get to a point where they trusted me with the machine and I figured out ways to dial it down. I think that's why you remembered Steve…"

"Thank you…" Bucky said, but Molly shook her head again.

"There's nothing to thank me for," she told him, "I did what I could to try and make things better, but it wasn't enough."

Unbidden, tears pooled in her eyes and Bucky reached across the table with his own hand and covered hers.

"What you did broke the cycle. It made a huge difference to me…" he said and when Molly looked at him uncertainly he gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.

She sniffed and took a sip of her coffee, her fingers feeling cold when Bucky removed his hand to pick up his own cup. They were quiet for a moment until Molly remembered Steve's request.

"I need to show you something in the barn," she told Bucky, who raised an eyebrow and she elaborated, "Something Steve has left for you…us…if needs be."

They finished their coffee and after putting something on their feet, Molly led the way to the barn where she showed Bucky the hidden weapons and he checked them over one by one, nodding approvingly of Steve's choices.

"We should keep something in the house…just in case…" he said and Molly shivered at the thought of people coming for them and grabbing the edges of the long cardigan she'd pulled on over her vest top and pyjama bottoms, she wrapped it around herself as though it would protect her.

Noticing her action, Bucky said, "You ever used a gun?"

She shook her head and he picked up a hand gun and handed it to her. She took it gingerly and looked it over, biting her bottom lip as he said, "We should get some target practice in soon."

"Okay," she replied, not overly keen, but realising the necessity of it in their current situation.

Bucky took the gun from her then and returned it to its place before glancing around the barn and spotting something covered with a dust sheet, he crossed to it and pulled the cover off, a low chuckle escaping him and Molly came to stand by his side to see what he had uncovered.

"Well I'll be damned," he said, shaking his head with a smile as they both looked at the vintage motor bike that sat before them.

Bucky glanced at Molly to find her looking at him quizzically and he pointed to the bike.

"Steve used to go on about wanting one of these when we were young, but he was never big enough…" he shook his head as memories of his childhood assaulted his mind and he crouched down more to hide his face from Molly than to examine the bike in greater detail.

"Do you think it runs?" Molly asked and Bucky reached out, touching the bike as though it would give him answers.

"Maybe," he eventually replied, "It looks in pretty good shape for its age…" he trailed off as he realised the same could probably be said for him too physically; his mind though…that was a whole different ball game.

"There were some keys hanging in the kitchen," Molly said, "I'll go see if any of them look like they could be for it…"

Bucky nodded, watching her for a moment as she left the barn before looking back at the bike. It felt strange to not be fighting or chasing some target and for a moment he felt a flash of something akin to guilt, but he closed he eyes and swallowed it down.

After a few moments he opened his eyes again and glancing around he saw some work gloves laying on the tool bench and he crossed to it and pulled them on and combined with the long sleeve jersey shirt he wore, they covered his metal arm and hand nicely.

He moved back to the bike just as Molly returned and she handed him a couple of keys.

"They looked like the only ones that might fit," she informed him as he took them and choosing one, he sat astride the bike and inserted it into the ignition. It fit, but the bike wouldn't turn over.

Bucky frowned, but Molly was too busy thinking how good he looked in his tight jeans and jersey shirt, sat atop the bike, to be disappointed.

"You mind if I tinker about with it some?" he asked of her, his voice bringing her out of her thoughts and she shook her head.

"Of course not….you can do whatever you want to…" she replied, then jokingly added, "…you're not under my command now, you're not my soldier any more."

Her smile faded when she saw the look on his face and she cursed herself for saying something so stupid.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to bring back…" she stopped as he interrupted her.

"No…it's not that…it's just the…" he paused and sighed a little, feelings that he somehow knew had been there for some time rising to the surface and he wasn't sure what to do with them. "Not being your soldier…" he continued, trying to choose his words carefully, "…I think you and I will always have a link…a connection…." he shook his head, knowing he wasn't explaining himself very well.

Molly's heart was pounding nonetheless.

"And that's bad…right?" she all but whispered, but Bucky took a step closer and shook his head again.

"No. Molly, if you hadn't done what you did, we'd both still be in there… I knew I could trust you from the moment you came close enough for me to see you. You're the one person I remember the most and that's because of the way you were with me. It meant something to me…still does…"

Molly blushed and Bucky smiled, the urge to touch her…to feel the curls of her hair against his skin…almost too tempting to resist and just when he would have reached for her, something rustled beneath the covering that had been on the bike and Molly let out a yelp and jumped backwards as a rat scampered past them.

Bucky chuckled as Molly began to back out of the barn.

"I'll let you get on with your tinkering…" she said, the breathlessness in her voice not all down to the appearance of Mister Rat.

"Alright…" Bucky grinned as Molly practically ran from the barn.

OoO

Bucky had lost himself fettling with Steve's bike all afternoon, only pausing the couple of times Molly had brought him a coffee or a bottle of water from the house and it was only when the daylight began to fade did he make his way inside to be greeted by the delicious aroma of something cooking.

"I was just going to come and fetch you…" Molly told him as he entered the kitchen and he felt a little more of the ice around his heart melt at her appearance. She had on a frilly apron over her pyjama bottoms and vest top and she'd somehow piled her hair up onto her head, but most of it was escaping at all angles. "Dinner is almost ready…"

"Molly, you didn't have to…" Bucky tried to protest but she threw him a look which made him grin and he said, "I'll go wash up…"

When he reappeared a few minutes later, she dished up and as they sat at the table she asked, "Did you fix it?"

"Not yet," Bucky replied, eyeing the meal she had prepared, "But I think I know what the problem is. I'd like to get it running for Steve, as a thanks, you know?"

Molly nodded and smiled at him, watching as he began to eat and although she knew that all of this was only temporary she suddenly longed for it to be her reality.

"This tastes great!" Bucky enthused and as she opened her mouth to reply he butted in, teasing her with, "And don't say _'_ _ _it's just chicken'__ …"

Molly blushed and picked at her own food, glad he was enjoying it, but she had something on her mind. Whilst he had been outside, she had remembered about the red book that she had taken from the lab and she wanted him to know about it and so, when they had finished eating and had put the plates to one side, she pulled the book from where she had hidden it behind the toaster and placed it on the table top between them.

Bucky stared at it and she hated the look that entered his eyes.

"Why's that here?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level, knowing that she had put herself at even greater risk by taking it.

"I grabbed it when we were escaping…I thought it would be better if we had it…" she paused and pushed the book closer to him, "…I think you should decide what to do with it. Burn it perhaps?" Molly replied, watching as Bucky touched the leather cover with his metal fingertips. He'd seen it in so many different hands and trusted none of them, none except Molly's. He knew that she wouldn't use the book for her own gains…wouldn't turn him back into the deadly assassin that Hydra had created.

"Have you read it?" he asked, not meeting her eyes and Molly wished he would.

"Not in depth," she replied truthfully.

Bucky took a moment before suddenly pushing the book back her way.

"See if there is anything in it that might help get rid of the Hydra crap from my head and if there isn't, then we'll burn it."

Molly nodded and impulsively reached out to rest her hand over his metal one and finally Bucky lifted his eyes to meet hers.

"We'll find a way to free you from all of this," she told him and Bucky sighed, turning his metal hand beneath hers so that he could gently close the fingers around hers.

"I just want it to stop…" he said, the look on his face more than Molly could bear and she stood and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Bucky closed his eyes as her warmth surrounded him. He nestled his face against her abdomen, wrapping his arms around her waist, the contact more than he'd shared with any other human being in the longest time and he was shocked to discover just how much he'd missed it.

He sighed again, more softly this time as a bone weary tiredness swept over him, and even though he was mentally exhausted he knew that he would fight on for his freedom and for his future and all it could entail.

His arms tightened around Molly almost instinctively, the sound of her heartbeat reassuring him that for now at least they were safe.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

****Date : 23.05.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 7 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Day two at Steve's farm dawned bright and sunny and after breakfast, Bucky insisted he show Molly how to handle a gun and though she still wasn't keen she followed his instruction to the letter and after quite a few attempts eventually managed to hit a couple of the targets he had set up, trying hard not to be affected by the way he stood right behind her as he showed her how to get her balance right, patting her hip when her aim was true.

When they returned to the house Bucky hid one or two of the weapons Steve had left for them in strategic places, just in case, and though Molly prayed they wouldn't need them, she paid attention to where he put them and listened carefully as he told her how to fire each of them.

That afternoon, Bucky worked on Steve's bike again and Molly took a look at the red book, trying to work out if anything was significant.

That evening, after they had eaten, they sat together in the lounge and Molly pulled the book from behind a cushion on the sofa.

"I took a look at this earlier," she told Bucky, who raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing and after a moment, Molly continued, "The words they use…to activate the Soldier…I was wondering if they mean anything to you…"

"I'm not sure…" Bucky began, sounding uncertain and Molly scooted closer to the end of the sofa, nearest to the chair he sat on.

"Furnace…for example…" she said, "…that could maybe be something to do with your arm…"

Bucky glanced down at his metal forearm and hand and flexed his fingers as she went on, "Benign…that could be when you've been in cryostasis…" He nodded and she added, "…the numbers though…seventeen…what could that be for?"

"I was born in 1917…" Bucky replied and Molly looked up at him. She had of course known that he was born well before World War Two, but to hear him actually speak of the year he entered the world was a sobering realisation.

"You look good…for an old man…" she offered and Bucky smiled.

"Thanks…"

He eyed her for a moment, watching as the now familiar tinge made her cheeks pink whenever she said something that she thought was embarrassing. He liked it…

After a moment or two he asked, "Will I age normally now?"

"Yes…every minute that you're out of cryo your cells are returning to normal…and ageing as they should," Molly replied and Bucky nodded.

"I'm glad…being immortal isn't all it's cracked up to be…" he said and Molly closed the red book and set it aside.

"It must have felt strange to see things changing each time you were sent out, especially if there were long breaks in between missions," Molly said, referring to his earlier days as the Winter Soldier.

"I noticed the cars mostly…machinery…weapon advancement…" Bucky replied, adding, "…and clothes…"

"Fashion has a lot to answer for," Molly commented and Bucky smiled, but it was a smile tinged with sadness and she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to continue talking about stuff like that.

She was about to try to steer the conversation into more neutral territory when he said, "Now that I have more time to think, I'm starting to remember more…about my past…my family and friends…" He looked at her and she tilted her head to one side in what she hoped was an encouraging gesture.

It seemed to work because he went on, "I was the eldest of four. I'd like to know what happened to my family."

"We can find that out for you…" Molly replied, "…but not yet. It's not a good idea to use the internet even if Steve had it out here. They'll be monitoring for anything like that, any clues they can lay their hands on as to where you might go. They'll be on high alert for any searches about things relating to your past whether they be online or not."

Bucky nodded. He wasn't totally sure what the internet was; he had an idea, but unlike so many things in this modern day world he was definitely a man out of time.

"I feel so…out of touch…" he admitted, and lifting his own arm he indicated to Steve's lounge, "…all this…it's not what I'm used to."

"I know…but you'll adjust and learn and before you know it everything will be all too familiar," Molly replied, hoping to make him feel better.

"I dunno," Bucky replied, looking uncertain, "…what if I can't adjust or can't fit in?"

"You'll find your place," Molly said, "It'll just take time."

Bucky sighed and Molly thought he looked tired and standing she said, "Want some cocoa?"

Bucky couldn't help the unexpected laugh that escaped him and Molly blushed, "I know…not very you is it, one week you're a hard as nails, all dressed in leather…and now you're having early nights and drinking hot cocoa before bed…"

Bucky stood and rested his hand on her shoulder and Molly bit her bottom lip as he replied, "It's not that…it's just, my mom used to make dad cocoa every night and he hated the stuff but never had the heart to tell her…."

"Ah…" Molly replied, looking down and before Bucky could stop himself he reached out and placed his fingertips beneath her chin, tilted her head back up so that she had to look at him again.

"I'd __love__ some," he said and Molly smiled, finding herself becoming lost in his eyes and she swayed a little closer to him as she murmured, "Okay…"

Bucky wanted to kiss Molly so badly, but even though he could tell that she would be receptive he wasn't sure it was a good idea that they become involved that way. He liked her…liked her a lot…that wasn't the issue; what was the issue was him. He couldn't trust his own mind. _ _He__ was dangerous and they were __in__ a dangerous situation and this wasn't the time or the place to let his guard down.

Making a decision that left disappointment in Molly's eyes as well as in his own gut, he took a step back and moved his fingers away from her chin.

"I'll just go make sure everywhere is locked up."

Molly nodded, trying hard not to feel rejected and clearing her throat, she headed for the kitchen and poured milk into a pan as quickly as possible, keeping her back to Bucky when he joined her.

"Moll…." he said softly after a few moments of silence where he'd realised that she was purposely avoiding looking at him as she stirred the pan of milk on the stove.

"Mmm?" she replied, still keeping her back to him, her heart panging in her chest at the way he shortened her name.

Bucky debated what to say. He was not used to this. It had been a LONG time since he'd had any meaningful dealings with a woman…with anyone for that matter.

"I want you to know…" he tried, but paused again when he felt the right words wouldn't come.

Molly pushed down her feelings and half-turned to look at him.

"It's okay…I understand…we shouldn't complicate things and it's not the right time or place or…anything really…you need to concentrate on yourself…" she said, turning back to the milk as she realised that she was rambling a little and Bucky stepped closer, so close that she could feel the heat from his chest through the material of her shirt and she closed her eyes when he bent and rested his forehead against the back of her head.

After a few moments of quiet, he whispered, "I don't want to hurt you…and as I am now, I think there's a good chance I might…"

Opening her eyes, Molly slowly moved the pan off the heat and turned to face him and as he lifted his head to look at her, she cupped his face between her hands.

"You're a good man James Barnes," she told him softly and when Bucky went to shake his head, she held his face a little tighter, "You are! Don't forget who you were before HYDRA; you can be that man again."

After a moment or two digesting what she'd said, Bucky smiled, just a little.

"No-one's called me James in a loooong time."

He liked the way his name sounded when she said it.

Molly smiled and released his face, her fingertips caressing his jaw before she removed her touch completely.

"I'd like to call you James…if you don't mind?"

"I don't mind…" Bucky murmured as she turned to pour the milk into their waiting cups. He didn't mind at all, in fact it made him feel all the more human.

Mixing the cocoa into the milk, she handed him his cup and they headed to bed, bidding one another goodnight on the landing before retreating to their separate rooms where both wished they were still with the other.

OoO

It was sometime around 2 am when Molly awoke sharply to the sound of Bucky crying out as though he were in agony. Throwing back the covers she stumbled from her bedroom and along the landing to his room, the screams emanating from behind his door sounding reminiscent to those that she had heard from him whenever he'd been having the mind wiping treatment. Her heart pounding from the shock of being awoken so abruptly to such sounds, she took a breath and opened the door, stepping inside to find the room in darkness aside from a thin sliver of moonlight where the curtains didn't quite meet in the middle and it was because of this that she was just about able to make out Bucky's shape on the bed.

She went to step closer, but jumped when he cried out again and as he moved she saw that the covers were low on his hips but twisted around his legs and it looked as though he were fighting to be free.

Another cry was more than Molly could bear and she rushed to the side of the bed, leaning down as she reached out to try to still him.

"James…" she said softly, "…you're having a nightmare…"

She was just about to touch his face when his metal arm shot out and gripped her around the throat and Molly let out a strangled gasp as she suddenly found herself lifted and flipped and without quite knowing how, ended up flat on her back on the bed with Bucky looming over her, his metal fingertips slowly squeezing her neck.

"James!" she gasped out, "It's me…Molly…wake up!"

She grappled with his arm before trying to reach up to touch his face and she was just about to lift a leg to try and wedge a foot against his hip, lights popping in front of her eyes, when suddenly she could breathe again and as she gulped in air, Bucky used his metal arm to hold his weight off of her, though he didn't move from over her.

"Molly?" he said, sounding both confused and horrified at the same time. "What the hell? What did I do? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, the anguish in his eyes more than she could bear.

"You were having a bad dream…" she managed to croak, her voice getting stronger as she continued, "…I'm alright…" she lifted a hand and cupped his face, "…are you OK?"

"Me?!" Bucky asked a little could have killed her. He closed his eyes as he tried to get a grip on reality, the nightmare that had been about HYDRA still circling around his head.

Shifting all of his weight onto his metal arm, he lifted his own fingers to her neck and caressed her skin.

"I'm sorry…" he told her, opening his eyes to look down at her and Molly ran her thumb over his stubble-roughened cheek before moving her hand into the hair at the back of his head.

"Go back to sleep…" she murmured softly in response, gently guiding him to lay his head against her shoulder and he shifted on the bed, half lying at her side whilst still partially covering her and despite knowing that they shouldn't tempt fate neither were willing to move.

Bucky closed his eyes again and breathed in the scent of Molly's shampoo, letting her presence soothe his fractured mind as he felt himself drifting again.

Sleep didn't come quite so easily for Molly for as she lay holding Bucky, she couldn't help but worry for him and hope that they truly would find a way to free him and she decided that tomorrow she would make more effort to study the red book and try to find some clues inside it.

OoOoOoO

"Tell me you have something…" the Government official said to a cowering room of people and when they only continued to avoid his gaze by typing furiously on the computers before them, he slammed his fist down upon the closest surface.

"They can't have disappeared off of the face of the damn planet. FIND THEM!"

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

****Date : 06.06.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 8 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 **A/N : I just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone who has followed and favourited this story so far. I hope you're all enjoying it. Thanks for sticking with it :)**

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

The next morning could have been awkward; could have been, but strangely it wasn't and Bucky's only regret was that he could have hurt Molly badly, or worse killed her and as they sat down to breakfast he couldn't help but look at the fresh bruises that were blossoming on her neck amongst the ones she already had from the encounter with the other scientist in the lab.

"I'm fine…really…" Molly assured him as she caught him looking and Bucky offered her a small smile.

"That Scientist…back in the lab…" he began as he recalled a memory and Molly swallowed her bite of toast, instinctively knowing who he meant.

"Hanning," she supplied the man's name with barely concealed contempt.

"He was hassling you." Bucky stated the fact rather than asked the question and Molly shifted a little on her chair.

"He's a jerk, the kind of guy who doesn't take rejection well…I think that's why he started watching me…waiting for an excuse to blow the whistle…"

"Because you turned him down?" Bucky asked and Molly nodded and beneath the table, his metal fist clenched.

"He figured out what I was doing and I think he'd have tried to use it against me if we hadn't gotten out when we did," Molly said, watching the play of emotions on Bucky's face and when his expression turned thunderous she hoped to distract him by asking, "Would you like to go for a walk today? I could pack us some lunch. The woods would keep us covered…"

It took Bucky a moment or two to pull himself from his thoughts, but when he did he thought about what she'd asked, weighing up whether he thought it would be safe or not.

"Sure…" he eventually replied and Molly took in a breath to steady her own feelings. She didn't know why Bucky had brought up Hanning and she wondered if it had anything to do with his nightmare from the previous night. Whatever the reason was she hoped he didn't dwell upon it for too long.

A short while later they set off on their walk, heading across Steve's land and toward the cover of the nearby trees, Bucky carrying their lunch in a backpack where he had also hidden a gun beneath the picnic blanket that Molly had found in one of Steve's cupboards.

The air was heavy and close, almost unpleasantly warm and humid and Molly wondered if it would thunder later. They'd had a lot of very warm days just lately and that type of weather always resulted in a storm.

She glanced over at Bucky as they went deeper into the woods.

"Are you okay?" she asked and he turned his head to look at her. He still felt bad for what had happened the night before and though Molly hadn't held it against him, he felt it proved his point…that he was dangerous to be around whilst someone else had the ability to control his mind.

"Maybe Sam was right when he questioned whether I should be here alone with you," he eventually replied and Molly frowned. She hadn't known that Sam had said that.

Stepping closer to Bucky, she took his hand with hers.

"I trust you," she told him, holding his gaze. "I don't worry about you hurting me."

Bucky shook his head and Molly stopped walking, tugging on his hand to bring him around to face her and with her free hand she reached up and touched his cheek.

"It's the truth," she said and when Bucky saw the honesty in her eyes; it made tears gather in his own. He lowered his head and Molly stepped closer still, moving up onto her tiptoes to nuzzle softly, the soft skin of her cheek rubbing against the stubble on his.

Their mouths were millimetres apart when the sound of a twig snapping had Bucky reacting and he spun Molly around his body so that she was behind him and she was still trying to gather her wits when she saw as well as felt him relax and peeping around him, she couldn't help but let out a giggle when she saw two ducks with a family of ducklings strolling from one side of the pathway to the other before disappearing beneath some undergrowth.

"There must be water nearby," Molly said with a smile and taking Bucky's hand again she followed the ducks off of the beaten path, letting them lead until sure enough, the trees opened up to reveal a small pond and Molly grinned as the duck family plopped into the water one by one.

"Shall we sit here?" she asked and Bucky looked around, scanning the area before replying, "If you like."

He was still thinking about their near kiss and how he shouldn't let anything happen.

He shrugged the backpack off when Molly reached for it and watched as she took out the blanket and laid it down and if she knew or noticed that the gun was in there too, she didn't say anything.

They sat for a while in silence, sharing one of the bottles of water that Molly had packed as they watched the little duck family for a while until Bucky said, "I feel guilty sitting here like this, doing something…normal…whilst Steve is out there, trying to find us a way out of here."

Molly regarded him for a moment before she replied, "I know what you mean, but after everything that you've been through I doubt very much that Steve would begrudge you a moment like this…" and she nodded with her head toward the trees and the pond.

Bucky gave her an acknowledging smile.

"I doubt he would too. He's a good kid…the best friend a guy could ask for."

Molly smiled. It was funny to hear Bucky refer to Steve as a kid, but Bucky was a little older and even now she supposed he would speak of his friend as he always had. The time thing still blew her mind a little.

"What was it like, the forties?" she asked as she unpacked the sandwiches she had made. "I know of people that lived through the war and said that despite everything, it was an amazing time to be alive."

Bucky took a bite from a sandwich that she'd handed him and chewed as he considered his answer.

"It was dangerous, but exciting," he eventually replied, understanding what the people she'd referred to had meant. "You never knew what might happen from hour to hour sometimes, let alone day to day and so you lived as though every moment might be your last…."

Molly nodded, watching as he seemed to drift into a memory and after a moment she asked quietly, "Was there someone special back then?"

Bucky frowned as he tried to recall the name to a face that popped into his head.

"I…" he began and Molly said quickly, "It's okay…you don't have to answer…"

"Connie!" Bucky interrupted as he remembered the name, but his semi-triumphant smile wavered when he saw Molly look down.

"She and I went on a date once….she wasn't…" he paused as Molly looked up at him again.

"You don't have to explain. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked…" she trailed off as what bit of sunlight that was filtering through the treetops grew dim and the air around them seemed to become electrified.

"What about you?" Bucky asked, trying to ignore the shift in the atmosphere. "Do you have anyone?"

Molly opened her mouth, but before she could reply, a loud clap of thunder sounded, the following flash of lightening making her jump and she scrambled to her feet as they heard rain beginning to fall. They heard it before they felt it because of the thickness of the trees overhead and between them they managed to put their things into the backpack before the huge droplets began to break through.

Bucky took her hand as they began to make their way quickly back the way they had come, picking up their pace the harder the rain came, but by the time they broke clear of the woods, they were soaked and as lightening streaked through the sky above them and thunder rolled, Bucky headed in the direction of the barn.

"It's closer than the house!" he shouted in explanation as Molly let out a squeak of alarm as another lightening bolt illuminated everything around them.

As they burst into the barn, panting for breath and dripping wet, Bucky felt his feelings intensify when he looked at Molly and saw the way her dress clung to her curves and he dropped the backpack and reached for her, pulling her closer as he said in a voice that was low and husky, "You didn't answer my question. Do you have someone special?"

Molly, who was still struggling to breathe from their sprint from the woods, gave a little gasp of surprise as she found herself pulled against Bucky's body and she flattened her palms against his chest…not to push him away, more to steady herself… as the tone of his voice as he asked his question again made her entire body tingle.

"There is someone…" she began, her voice sounding as breathless as she felt and she bit her bottom lip as she felt Bucky's own hand tighten on her hip, her fingers flexing a little against the damp material of his jersey shirt before she added, "…and he's standing right in front of me…"

Bucky wasn't sure what had prompted this change of heart in him. Maybe it had been their talking about the past; the times he'd lived in the moment. Maybe the thunder had reminded him of danger…of wanting to survive, to feel alive…or maybe he'd just always known deep down that he wanted Molly, but whatever the reason was he welcomed it with open arms.

His mouth met hers and as she raised herself onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck, he enfolded her in his, careful not to crush her as he held her against him. It became obvious pretty quickly that kissing Molly, as enjoyable as that was, was nowhere near enough and as he pulled her down onto the hay in the corner of the barn, he murmured against her lips, "You sure about this…about me?"

Molly moved his hair away from his forehead so that she could see his eyes and brushing a soft kiss against his mouth she replied, "Yes."

It was the simplest of words and yet it held so much meaning and it was all Bucky needed to hear.

OoOoO

Long after the storm had passed and the rain had dried up, Bucky and Molly hunted through the straw and hay for various items of clothing, grinning at one another all the while. When they were dressed, Bucky picked up the backpack. They had eaten the remaining sandwiches sometime in between the second and third time that they'd made love, but now hunger of a different kind was forcing them to head back to the house where Bucky had promised to help Molly cook dinner and help her he did and when they decided to head to bed sometime later, Bucky swept her off of her feet and into his arms, nibbling at her neck as he took the stairs.

"You're insatiable James Barnes…" Molly said, only half teasing as he elbowed the door to her bedroom open.

"It's been a hell of a long time for me…" Bucky replied with a grin and Molly laughed, pushing the door closed behind them with her bare foot.

OoOoOoO

 ** **US GOVERNMENT FACILITY LAB****

"We have something!" Hanning reported to the new military Head of the project, almost giddy with glee at the prospect of finding Barnes and Molly.

Colonel Jones turned from his position by the large windows that overlooked the empty lab, the chair and the equipment that waited for the return of the Winter Soldier sitting dormant below.

"What is it?" he asked, finding the Scientist's eagerness to hunt down one of his own colleagues more than a little strange.

"Captain Rogers purchased a farmhouse," Hanning replied excitedly, sweat pouring from his forehead, his lank hair greasy and Jones grimaced as he waited for more. "The sale was kept well hidden, no papers filed or records kept…but he didn't hide it well enough. He could have taken Barnes and Doctor Evans there."

Jones nodded and turning to one of his men said, "Ready a team…" He was about to turn away when Hanning said, "I want to go too…"

Jones laughed and shook his head, about to deny the man's request when Hanning said, "I have unfinished business with that bitch…and I helped to locate them…"

Jones narrowed his eyes at the other man and considered him for a moment. Just what was his problem with the woman, aside from the fact that she had helped The Asset to escape? It somehow went deeper than that and Jones was intrigued enough to say, "Alright…it won't hurt to have one of you around in case the arm is damaged in any way. Bring some equipment."

Hanning nodded vigorously and rubbed his hands together as Jones turned away.

"You won't get away this time…" he muttered under his breath.

End of Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

****Date : 13.06.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 9 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Molly smiled as she felt Bucky's arms slip around her waist and she let him pull her back against him even as she continued to butter the toast she had made.

"You mind if I finish off working on Steve's bike this morning?" Bucky asked, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck and Molly tilted her head to one side to give him better access, closing her eyes as memories of the night before flooded her mind.

They had gotten very little sleep, talking and making love well into the early hours before finally falling asleep wrapped around one another and after waking and taking a shower together they had made their way downstairs to get breakfast.

"No…I don't mind," Molly eventually replied, sighing almost dreamily as Bucky lifted his lips from her skin and caressed her hips before he moved away to pour them some coffee.

They ate and when Bucky moved out to the barn, Molly decided to do some laundry and tidying. She wanted to keep Steve's place nice for him and since she had little else to keep her occupied it seemed like the right thing to do…not to mention she was quite enjoying playing housewife for a while.

She smiled as she stripped the bedding and changed it for clean, thinking of her and Bucky and what they'd gotten up to and what they might get up to that night under the crisp sheets.

She forced the nagging issue of their impending future to the back of her mind, unwilling to face it and all it entailed. She headed downstairs and was loading the washing machine when the communication device that Steve had told her to keep close went off and she picked it up from the kitchen table and pressed it into her ear.

"Bucky? Molly?" Steve's voice sounded loud and clear.

"It's Molly…is everything alright?" she replied.

"Yeah….you and Buck okay?" came his reply.

"Yes, we're fine," she answered, feeling her cheeks blush for no apparent reason and added, "He's in your barn…tidying…I think he's bored…" She didn't want to tell Steve about the bike. It was meant to be a surprise after all.

"Steve let out a soft chuckle and said, "Well, tell him to leave my stuff alone…and get ready, Sam and I will be there in a few hours. T'Challa managed to arrange a business trip to the US that hasn't aroused any suspicions so we'll pick you both up and you can head to Wakanda with him tonight."

"King T'Challa …and…both of us…?" Molly asked uncertainly. She hadn't given much thought to what would happen to her once Bucky was safely away or what would happen now that things were different between them.

"Yes, T'Challa has offered to let you stay too, his sister Shuri is a scientist and is eager to meet you. It's not safe for you here either Molly…" Steve reminded her and an involuntary shiver went down her spine despite the warmth of the day.

"That's…thank you…" she replied, feeling a little shell-shocked. It wasn't that she had any real issue with leaving, it was just that she had loose ends…her home for one.

Sensing her hesitancy, Steve said, "Everything will be sorted out for you…please don't worry."

Molly had no idea who would sort it all out or how they would do it, but for now she just had to concentrate on staying alive and from the sounds of it they were close to being successful. Almost as if reading her mind again, Steve added, "Don't do anything different today than what you've been doing already and we'll see you soon."

"Okay…" Molly replied. They said their goodbyes and she was just about to head out back to the barn to tell Bucky the news when a knock came to the front door. Frowning, Molly peeked around the hallway door and could make out a small, but plump figure through the diaphanous curtain that hung over the glass to the side of the door.

"Anyone home?" came a friendly sounding female voice. "I'm from the neighbouring farm a few miles up the road…"

Molly felt her tension lift slightly, but staying on her guard she crossed to the door and put the chain on before opening it to see a robust looking woman in maybe her late sixties holding what looked like and smelled like a home-made plate pie covered with a cloth.

"Hello dear…" the woman said, nodding to the chain, "…no need to be afraid. Your husband not around?"

Molly tried not to blush and remembered not to correct the woman's incorrect assumption about hers and Bucky's marital statues and replied, "He's in the barn out back…"

The woman nodded and offered up the plate with the delicious smelling pie.

"I'm Joanie. We noticed someone had moved in here; just wanted to introduce ourselves and make you aware we're around…well…as around as you can be as a neighbour from over yonder…" and she indicated with a nod of her head in the direction of the road that lead away from Steve's place.

Not wanting to be rude, Molly slipped the chain off of the door and took the plate.

"Thank you. This is very kind of you…and you said 'we'?" she queried, her mouth watering at the smell coming from beneath the cloth.

"Me and old Bert, my other half…" Joanie replied and Molly glanced around but could see no sign of anyone else. Seeing her curious gaze, the older woman added, "…he dropped me off and went back home. I like to walk some days…"

She smiled at Molly who said, "I can understand why…it's beautiful around here."

"Indeed it is, err….?" Joanie replied, obviously wanting her name and thinking quickly she said, "Emma…and my husband is Jack."

Joanie nodded and Molly added quickly, "I'd ask you in for some coffee, but I'm in the middle of some housework…still trying to get the place right, you know how it is…"

Joanie nodded again and just when it looked like she might say something she turned and headed down the porch steps.

"Nice to meet you…enjoy the pie won't you…try a piece before you carry on with your chores, you won't regret it!"

"Thanks again!" Molly called after her, watching as the woman walked away, watching until she was out of view before turning and heading back inside. She placed the plate down onto the kitchen table and took the cloth off, breathing in the scent of what was no obviously a home baked apple pie.

Closing her eyes, Molly enjoyed the aroma for a couple of moments more, tempted to have some, but she wanted to carry on and so she finished loading the washer and set it going before heading back upstairs to pack a their things. She would tell Bucky about Steve's call when he came in for lunch.

A while later, with everything in order upstairs…the red book safely stored in her hold-all…Molly headed back downstairs, the smell of the apple pie driving her to distraction and so as she waited for the washing machine to finish it's final cycle, she cut a small piece and ate it, unable to stop the "Mmmmm…" that escaped her at its taste. Bucky would devour it whole if she let him; it was so good.

She thought no more of it and when the washing machine finally stopped, she emptied it and took the sheets outside to hang them on the line and it was all she could do to get the job done as waves of tiredness swept over her.

"That's what you get for staying up half the night with a gorgeous, insatiable man…" she murmured to herself and heading back inside she barely made it to the couch before she fell into a dreamless sleep…..

 **OoO**

Joanie walked a mile down the road before a military vehicle appeared along the track and she stopped as it came to a halt beside her.

The window rolled down and the man inside said, "Was it them?"

"I only saw the woman from the pictures you showed me…but she said the man was in the barn out back," Joanie replied.

The man nodded and held out an envelope, but before Joanie could take it he said, "Did she take the food?"

Joanie nodded, feeling bad for the young couple and whatever it was that they had done to warrant military types coming in like this and bribing civilians to trick folks - not that the money wouldn't come in useful, but she hoped they'd be alright nonetheless.

"I told her to try some soon. It smelled real good so she might do," she said and the man regarded her before he let her take the envelope.

"You never saw us," he instructed and Joanie swallowed hard and said, "I understand."

They let her walk away and she waddled faster than she had in many a long year.

 **OoOoOoO**

Bucky set down the tools he'd been using and sat back on his heels, looking at Steve's bike with a satisfied grin. It should run now…theoretically. Standing he crossed to where there was a petrol canister and already knowing it had some in, he moved back to the bike and removed the tank cap and using a funnel he poured the fuel into the bike.

After a little more tinkering he tried to fire the bike up and after two or three false starts it roared into life and then sat rumbling. Bucky laughed out loud, pleased that he had been able to do this for his friend. He couldn't wait to see Steve's face.

He turned from the bike, his intent to tidy away the tools and then go fetch Molly to look at his handiwork. He didn't see the blow to the side of his head with the butt of a gun coming and unprepared he fell to the floor out cold.

"Thank you for the noise distraction Sergeant Barnes…" Jones said, eyeing Bucky's crumpled figure, then to two of his men he instructed, "Tie him up and make sure there's no chance of him breaking free in a hurry…he won't be happy when he comes to."

As they moved to do his bidding, another soldier entered the barn, Hanning behind him.

"The woman is out of it in the house…" he told Jones who nodded and asked, "Any sign of the book?" and Hanning held it up.

"Good…."Jones said, turning back to where his men now had Bucky as secured as they could get him. They all knew it wouldn't take him long to break free of the shackles they had brought from the facility and so when he awoke, they would need to act quickly.

Jones turned the bike engine off and took a moment to admire the vintage model.

"Nice…" he murmured and Hanning snarled behind his back. He was eager to get on with things.

Just then Bucky began to come to and Jones held his hand out for the book, turning to the pages that held the words that would turn Barnes back into the Winter Soldier.

As soon as Bucky had his wits back, he began to struggle against the steel bands around his ankles and wrists, quickly grasping the situation he found himself in and he cursed himself a thousand times over for letting his guard down. How could he have let this happen? How had he not realised that they had tracked them down?

Molly?!

Bucky looked up as a shadow fell over him and he all but snarled as he recognised Hanning stood behind whoever the military guy in charge was. He also noticed then the other soldiers all with their weapons trained upon him.

"Sergeant Barnes….nice of you to rejoin us. I am Colonel Jones and I'm sure this little vacation of yours has been charming, but I must insist that you return to your duties now…"

Bucky's eyes left Hanning and he glared up at Jones.

"Where is she?" he asked, confident that the other man would know who he meant.

"Oh she's safe…" Jones replied.

"Let her go," Bucky said, "I'll do what you want…just let her go, don't hurt her…"

"Oh we won't…" Hanning said, his voice making even Bucky's skin crawl and he looked at the Scientist as he added, "…you, on the other hand….imagine what damage you could do…"

Bucky struggled against his restraints with new vigour despite the guns that were aimed his way, determined that Hanning would be the first one that he'd kill and he grit his teeth, growling as the first word made his brain begin to ache.

"Zhelaniye…"

 **OoOoOoO**

Molly woke with a bit of a start and sat up, immediately feeling dizzy and she lifted a hand to her forehead to try to stop her head from spinning.

For a moment she wondered what on earth had happened. Why would she feel so rotten after a much needed nap? She moved to the edge of the couch and risked opening her eyes, blinking as the sunlight streaming through the lounge windows made her head hurt.

She almost felt like she'd been drugged….

"Oh God…" she murmured, her head turning toward the kitchen doorway where she could see the pie that Joanie had brought still sitting innocently upon the table.

As realisation dawned on her, she struggled to her feet, staggering toward the back door of the house, clinging on to every piece of furniture as she passed it. Fear for Bucky clawed at her stomach and when she finally reached the door she yanked it open and stumbled onto the back porch, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight.

The bed sheets that she had hung out to dry flapped lightly in the soft breeze, the whiteness of them dazzlingly bright and Molly could barely look at them as she stepped down off of the porch and onto the grass, moving among them as a sudden gust whipped them into the air like the sails of a ship.

Her steps faltered then as the skin on the back of her neck prickled and every sense in her body told her that something was wrong.

The sheet in front of her blew one way and then another…and then she saw him.

Bucky stood just a few feet away, at the end of the garden and Molly's breath caught in her throat. She froze, standing as still as he and even as she whispered his name she knew that the man before her was no longer the man she was in love with, but the deadly assassin she had wanted so badly to save.

End of Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

****Date : 21.06.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 10 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bucky stared at the woman, the buzz of the prospect of completing his mission zinging through his veins. He didn't know why they wanted her dead, but that was not his problem. This would be easy…probably too easy…maybe he'd string it out a little bit…but then, that wasn't really his style.

"James…"

She spoke so softly that he barely heard the name she whispered, but heard it he had and he frowned and narrowed his eyes at her.

He expected her to try and run, they always did and so he was more than a little surprised when she took a step toward him instead. He remained where he was, watching her closely though he was more than confident that she posed no threat.

"Do you know why they sent you here?" she asked, her voice not much louder than it had been when she'd said the name.

"I don't care," Bucky replied, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side as the breeze caught her hair and he watched as an auburn curl danced, the sun highlighting the red and unbidden an image appeared in his mind…the same hair tumbling around him as the same woman leaned over him, laughing as he reached up to touch her….

What was this?

Molly tried not to blanch as he told her he didn't care. This wasn't the Bucky she knew…she had to remember that. She also had to remember that she was on borrowed time. They'd be expecting the Soldier to return to them soon, wherever they were hiding, waiting for him.

She hated the cold, unfeeling look he gave her as his eyes returned to hers and taking a deep breath she took another step closer, so close now that she could reach out and touch him and she tentatively lifted a hand and when he did nothing to stop her, rested it upon his chest.

Still Bucky made no move, merely continued to look at her, his lack of recognition giving Molly a strange sense of finality despite the futile nagging hope that he would remember her. He had once…

She knew she couldn't outrun him and she couldn't fight him, all she could do was try and get him to remember…

"You might not care…" she said, "…but I do, so I'll tell you. They sent you here because I helped you to get away from them. They want me gone so that I can't help you again…"

Bucky remained impassive though her words had a ring of truth to them that he couldn't quite understand. He __had__ found it odd when he'd seen her as to why they would need someone like him for this mission. The woman clearly had no chance against him and anyone could have carried out the orders to snuff her out…so why him?

"Look around," she said then, "Do you not recognise this house? The barn?"

Bucky's eyes flicked to the house behind her and the sense of familiarity that went through him made him react and he wrapped his metal fingers around her wrist and pulled her hand from his chest, preparing to haul her toward the house.

"I don't have time for this…" he told her and Molly winced as his grip tightened.

"Bucky….does the name Bucky mean anything to you?"

He paused and looked down at her.

"Should it?" he asked, his face betraying little of the fact that she was starting to unnerve him.

Molly's breath caught as he began to pull her toward the house, batting the sheets on the washing line out of the way and fear began to creep its way up her spine.

"It's your name…" she told him, stumbling up the steps to the back porch where Bucky spun her around in front of him and backed her up against the wall of the house.

"My name is…." he bit out, pausing as his mind failed to come up with anything other than the two names she had used thus far.

"It's Bucky," Molly murmured, "James…Bucky…Barnes…."

Bucky let out a growl of pure frustration, tired now of the woman's games.

"You're wrong Molly," he said through gritted teeth, pulling back his metal arm, fist clenched and Molly cowered, then realised something.

"You called me Molly!" she said, her jubilation short lived and she cried out in alarm as he buried his fist in the wooden wall slats to the side of her head.

Bucky looked at her and she could clearly see the confusion in his eyes as he took a step back from her, confusion that turned to anguish as he gripped his head in his hands.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" he growled as his seeming inability to hurt this woman and not complete his mission warred within him.

Molly was about to try and explain to him when a voice from the garden called out, "Hey!" and she slumped in relief as she saw Sam. Bucky turned sharply and immediately went for the other man and as a fist fight ensued, Steve appeared at Molly's side, his hand at her elbow steadying her.

"What happened?" he asked, one eye on her and one monitoring Sam and Bucky's fight.

"They got to us…to him…they drugged me…I…" she shook her head, angry at herself for not realising the neighbour with the pie had been a trick. "It's my fault…"

Steve squeezed her shoulder just as Sam called out, "A little help here!" as Bucky sent him flying halfway across the garden.

"Get your things…" Steve said as he went to help Sam and for a moment Molly watched as he too battled with Bucky until, no longer able to watch she headed into the house, hoping that between them Sam and Steve would be able to knock Bucky out…it would be the only way to bring him back to himself again.

Heading upstairs she saw that the bag she had packed had been gone through and she shivered, her hands shaking as she realised that someone had been in the house whilst she was 'sleeping' and had taken the red book. Feeling sick she hastily shoved her things back into the bag and picked it up along with the one she had packed for Bucky and turning to leave she gasped as she found the bedroom doorway blocked by an all too familiar figure.

"Hello Molly," Hanning said, giving her a smile that made her insides churn.

 **OoOoO**

Pretty much evenly matched it was a tough fight between Steve and Bucky and it was only when Sam managed to get behind Bucky and hit him over the head with a piece of wood that he'd found lying around did it come to an abrupt end.

"God-dammit I hate that son of a bitch!" Sam said, trying to get his breath back and Steve rolled his eyes and tipped his head back as he took a moment to gather himself.

"We need to get him to the car, I told Molly to get their stuff," he said, nodding toward Bucky's crumpled form.

"Yeah…give me a sec…" Sam replied.

"We don't have a sec," Steve replied and Sam pulled a disgruntled face at him.

They had seen the government vehicle hiding a mile or so from Steve's farm as they'd approached from a higher vantage point and they'd doubled back to come in a different way so that they wouldn't be seen.

Steve knew it would only be a matter of time before they came to see what was keeping Bucky from returning and they had to get going. Between them they carried Bucky to their car, which was at the side of the house and put him on the back seat and then he said to Sam, "Get it started, I'll go get Molly…."

Sam nodded and got into the drivers' seat, keeping an eye on Bucky in the rear view mirror.

 **OoOoOoO**

"What does it feel like to have the Soldier hunting you?" Hanning asked Molly and she glared at him.

"You should already know the answer to that," she replied, "The last time I saw you he was flinging you across the lab."

Hanning's smug smile wavered and his face grew serious as he said, "It's time to go…"

"If you think I'd go anywhere with you…" Molly began then paused as he produced a gun from behind his back.

"Drop the bags. Let's go," he said and for now, Molly had no option but to do as he said.

 **OoOoOoO**

Steve took the stairs two at a time, but found no sign of Molly upstairs, only the two bags that she had obviously gotten ready. Frowning he picked them up and headed back down, calling out her name as he reached the lounge…and then, through the window he saw Molly being dragged toward a waiting black SUV that was parked out front and he dropped the bags and headed for the front door, flinging it open and clearing the porch in one stride.

"Hey!" he called, out, ducking as Molly's kidnapper turned and fired off a shot.

Molly struggled against Hanning's hold on her arm, trying to break free, but he held her fast and as another shot was fired at Steve she found herself being bundled into the back of he SUV, Hanning getting in beside her and instructing the driver, "Go!"

As the SUV screeched away, Steve turned just as Sam brought the car around.

"What happened?" he asked as Steve got in.

"They took Molly…I shouldn't have sent her back into the house alone…"

As Sam floored it and took off after the SUV, Bucky began to come around on the back seat and Steve twisted to look at him as his old friend rubbed the back of his head.

"About that…I'd like to say I'm sorry…." Sam began, glancing in the rear view mirror as Bucky finished, "But you're not, right."

Sam nodded and Steve knew then that Bucky, his Bucky, was back.

Squinting a little bit, Bucky looked ahead to the cloud of dust that a vehicle ahead was leaving in its wake and Steve said, "They got Molly…"

Memories suddenly assaulted Bucky's mind and everything rushed back in, his emotions going into overdrive as he realised what had just happened and what he could have done.

"God-dammit!" he swore, punching the door and leaving a large dent in it.

"Whoa! Bucky…" Steve began, but Bucky cut him off.

"I have to get her back…they'll kill her; that's what they sent me to do. I should never have gotten her involved in this…should never have let her close…I knew this would happen…"

At that Steve and Sam exchanged a wordless look and Sam pushed the car harder, trying to catch up to the SUV.

"She's in that car," Steve said as Sam began to gain some ground.

"Get me as close as you can…" Bucky said, opening the back window and Sam ground out, "What do you __think__ I'm trying to do?"

Bucky gave him a dirty look in response and proceeded to climb out of the car and onto the roof, clinging on as they bounced their way down the country lane.

"Good job you picked a faster car this time," Sam said.

"Yeah…" replied Steve, giving Sam a look of his own.

When they were close enough, Bucky stood, crouching to get his balance before waiting until just the right time and jumping onto the SUV's roof.

As the roof crunched above them, Hanning flinched and both he and Molly turned to look out of the back window and Molly took a breath as she saw Sam and Steve in the car behind, which meant that Bucky was on the roof of the SUV.

Turning to Hanning she couldn't resist saying, "So…how __does__ it feel to have the Soldier hunting you?"

End of Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

****Date : 10.07.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 11 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Drive faster!" Hanning instructed the driver of the SUV and as the car sped up, Molly glared at the Scientist.

"You won't get away from him…" she told him and Hanning turned to look at her, giving her a dirty look before he pointed the gun he held at the roof of the car.

"Or maybe he won't get away from me…" he said and as he pulled the trigger, Molly lunged at him, knocking his arm and instead he shot the driver in the back of the head.

Bucky tensed as he heard a shot fired in the interior of the car below him, then hung on as the vehicle began to career out of control. Inside Hanning was yelling at Molly and trying to reach through to the front to grab the steering wheel and whilst he did that, Molly took a moment to put her seatbelt on, knowing that this was only going to end one way.

She was right and just as Hanning managed to grab the wheel, the speeding out of control SUV hit a pot hole in the country lane and it made Hanning yank the wheel to one side and somehow the car began to flip.

Bucky waited until the last possible moment to jump free of the car and behind him, Sam slowed up, both he and Steve watching as the SUV slid on its side, then rolled onto its roof before finally coming to a halt further down the lane.

"Shit…" Sam said, watching as Bucky moved toward the car.

Steve glanced at Sam, almost afraid to look back at the SUV, but when he did he saw Bucky heading toward it and he worried for what his friend might find.

As Bucky got closer to the SUV he could see that the driver was dead, but he could also see the bullet wound that had caused his demise; he saw Hanning sprawled in an awkward looking position against the windscreen…he didn't appear to be moving. Neither man concerned him though, he needed to see Molly…see that she was alright.

Reaching the car he bent and looked inside and saw that she was still strapped to the back seat, her head lolled sidewards and her auburn hair covering her face. Bucky moved around the car to the side she was on and wrenched the door off in one easy movement, flinging it into the hedges behind him.

"Molly…" he said her name softly and tentatively reached in to touch his fingertips to her neck, relief flooding through him when he found a pulse. She began to come around then, emitting a low moan and he leaned in closer, supporting her head with both his hands as she tried to lift it. "Hey…it's alright…" he told her, "…don't try to move too much…does anything hurt?"

Molly blinked and tried to get her bearings and for a moment she couldn't understand why she was suspended upside down, and then it all came back to her and she began to panic.

"James….it's Hanning…he has a gun…he was going to kill you…"

"It's alright…sshhh…Moll…" Bucky replied, wanting to get her out of the car. The guilt he felt for putting her in this position was beginning to feel like a crushing weight upon his chest.

"Does anything hurt?" he asked again, his voice sounding sterner than he meant it too and Molly blinked and croaked, "No…I don't think so…."

Bucky nodded and assessed the situation for a moment, then said, "Get ready to wrap your arms around my neck when I release the seat belt…I'll catch you, don't worry…"

"I'm not worried…I trust you…" Molly whispered and Bucky met her eyes for a moment, his heart aching in ways he didn't want to acknowledge and so instead he reached for the buckle on the seat belt, moving closer and Molly reached out her arms in readiness and on his count, she wrapped her arms around him as she felt herself beginning to fall and true to his word, Bucky caught her and moved out of the car, lifting her up into his arms so that she didn't have to try to stand.

Molly was glad for she didn't think her legs would have supported her. As Bucky strode away from the SUV, she saw Sam in the drivers seat of the car that had been following her and Hanning and Steve was just getting out, opening the back door for them.

"You okay Molly?" he asked and she nodded, offering him a wonky smile as Bucky passed him to walk around the rear door and then he gently placed her onto the back seat and as he went to straighten up she cupped his cheek with one hand and when he didn't meet her gaze this time, alarms bells began to ring. He moved away slowly and had just closed the door when she heard Steve say, "One of them is still alive…" and with a dread of many things, Molly looked ahead and saw Hanning stumbling from the car and her throat closed with fear as Bucky took off at a run, heading back toward the SUV.

"James!" she cried out, just as Steve called, "Bucky!" but he didn't stop, his mind focussed on one thing and Sam, Molly and Steve watched as he reached Hanning just as the other man was straightening up after crawling from the wreck of the SUV and punched him square in the jaw with his metal hand.

Sam and Steve winced as Hanning flew a few feet down the lane, Bucky following him, relentless in his attack and Molly covered her eyes. She had no sympathy for her former colleague, but nor did she wish to be the reason Bucky killed again…she didn't want him to have that on his conscience or hanging in between them.

Just when Steve was about to go and intervene, another black vehicle came into view in the distance and he shouted, "Bucky, come on…we need to go….more are coming…"

Bucky growled in anger and frustration and grabbed Hanning by the collar.

"You come after Molly or me again and next time you won't be so lucky…" he snarled and Hanning made a barely conscious whimpering noise, his face a bloodied mess and as Bucky released him he curled into a ball on the gravel.

Bucky headed back toward the car and refused to meet Steve's eyes as he passed him, slipping onto the back seat beside Molly and as soon as Steve was back on board, Sam turned the car around and they got out of there.

They didn't stop as they passed Steve's farm house, keeping on going, heading toward the place where they would meet the plane that T'Challa had promised would be waiting for them. If they were followed they weren't caught and after a tense journey they finally reached the field that was the impromptu airstrip and Steve let out a sigh of relief as they saw the jet that had just landed and that was taxiing across the grass toward them.

Steve, Sam and Bucky got out of the car and Bucky went around to Molly's side to help her out and she was about to say that she was okay, when her knees buckled and he scooped her up into his arms again.

"Thanks…" she murmured and he nodded, a concerned look on his face and she was about to ask him what was wrong and why he was being distant when the door of the plane opened and someone appeared at the top of the drop down steps.

"Shuri…" Bucky murmured and Molly looked at him as he seemed inordinately pleased to see the other woman.

"Come quickly, there isn't much time…" Shuri called to them and Bucky began to move toward the plane, Steve and Sam following behind. They boarded the jet and Bucky placed Molly down into a comfy seat before she was all but forced to watch him embrace the small woman who said happily, "Sergeant Barnes…it is so good to see you…"

"Bucky…." he reminded her fondly before adding, "…and you too…and I'm sorry about what happened to your lab…"

Shuri shook her head. "It is better now, do not worry."

They smiled at one another and Molly looked away feeling inexplicably like she was no longer wanted. Rationally she knew better, but Bucky had been less than warm since they had been reunited and she couldn't help but wonder if he blamed her for what had happened…but then, did he even know what had happened?

As if Shuri sensed Molly's awkwardness, she turned and leaned down and said, "Doctor Evans, I am Shuri…I cared for Sergeant…" she paused and smiled, catching herself and continued, "…Bucky…when he came to us last time; I will do so again once we return to my homeland."

Molly nodded, a headache beginning to build behind her eyes. So that was it then…she wouldn't be needed now…

She wanted to ask if she could help, share what she knew about Bucky's time with HYDRA, but it seemed there was no more time for talking as everyone was taking their seats ready for take off and tears gathered beneath her lids as Bucky sat across the narrow aisle, opposite Shuri. Steve slid into the seat opposite her and she blinked, trying to clear the moisture away before anyone noticed.

"You alright Molly?" he asked quietly and she nodded again, unable to speak for fear she would make a fool of herself.

"There's a Wakandan doctor on board…I've asked him to check you over once we take off," Steve told her and Molly swallowed and offered him a small smile.

"Thank you…" she managed to say, glancing at Bucky only to find him looking away, out of the small window at his side, though there was no way he couldn't have heard what Steve had just said.

The plane took off and once the seatbelt sign had been switched off, the doctor approached Molly as promised and checked her over, surmising that she may have a bit of whiplash, but no concussion and that it was lucky she had had her seatbelt on (she had informed him of this fact when he had inquired of the nature of the accident that she had been involved in).

He gave her painkillers and told her to try and rest for the rest of the flight and she thanked him, trying to catch Bucky's gaze, but he kept his eyes firmly averted whenever she was looking his way, determined to keep his distance from her now if that was what it took to keep her safe.

At some point during the flight, Molly fell asleep and Shuri covered her with a throw before excusing herself to go and speak with the pilot. Bucky chose that moment to head to the restroom and Steve got up, following him. He waited outside until his friend emerged and asked, "What happened?"

"I dunno Steve," Bucky replied, raking a hand through his hair, "I let my guard down…I shouldn't have…"

Steve shook his head. "You're entitled to want a life Buck…"

"But look what shit it causes…" Bucky replied, gesturing further down the plane to where Molly slept. "I put her in danger, I was selfish…"

Steve reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Molly wanted to help you…"

"And look what it almost cost her. Steve they sent me to kill her today…"

His expression said how disgusted and angry he was and Steve sighed.

"But you didn't do it," Steve reminded him before adding, "She said they drugged her…do you know how?"

Bucky met Steve's eyes at that new piece of information.

"No…I…I was in the barn…" he paused before going on, "…I fixed your bike, it was going to be a surprise." He shook his head again then. "I shouldn't have left her alone…I shouldn't have…" he stopped when Steve squeezed his shoulder.

"She's alright, as are you…and we're getting you away from there."

"But for how long?" Bucky asked, his voice strained. "I can't be around people Steve…I shouldn't have let Molly get close. When we get to Wakanda I need to tell her that I'm letting her go…that she's better off without me."

Steve sighed and tried, "Think on it first hmm? Things will be different soon, Shuri tells me she's ready to start working on your mind just as soon as we get there…"

"And so I need to concentrate on that and Molly…." Bucky paused, swallowing down the pain and sadness he felt inside, "…she needs to be as far away from me as possible."

Steve felt for his friend and decided to try and speak to Bucky again once they were in Wakanda. In the meantime though, in an effort to take the scowl off of Bucky's face he asked, "You really fixed my bike?"

"Well you would never have managed it…" Bucky replied as they made their way back to their seats.

End of Chapter 11


	12. Chapter 12

****Date : 06.09.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 12 of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Wakanda was like nothing Molly had ever seen before. It was vast, she'd discovered that much as the plane had flown over mile after mile after mile of what looked to be uninhabited land before even getting close to reaching the city.

The distraction out of the window had been welcome as Bucky appeared to still be avoiding her, using his time instead to speak with Shuri, their heads bent together as though they discussed something secret or personal.

Molly tried not to feel anything other than glad and grateful. They were safe and Bucky was going to get the help he needed, but why was he being this way with her? She sighed softly and focussed on the view again, her eyes widening as they flew over what looked like a palace…a very grand palace…and she blinked. What kind of kingdom was this exactly?

The plane landed and to her surprise, Bucky helped her off but just as she was about to ask him if they could speak, he promptly disappeared to go and speak to T'Challa and Molly watched as the two men greeted one another almost cautiously before speaking and eventually shaking hands. She was then introduced to the King and there was an awkward moment where she wasn't sure if she was supposed to shake his hand or curtsey and so she did a bit of both, which T'Challa seemed to find amusing and told her that she was welcome in his home.

As Steve and Sam were led away by the King, Bucky and Molly were shown to the lab where they waited for Shuri to reappear and as they were given refreshments, Bucky had no option but to face her.

"Are you alright?" he asked and she gave him a look to which he responded, "Sorry…"

"I just don't understand why you're being so…" Molly began, waving a hand in the air, "…is it because I took the pie? I didn't realise…I'm sorry…Joanie, she seemed so genuine…."

Bucky frowned. "Pie?" he asked, then remembered that Steve had said Molly had been drugged. "No…" he went on, "…Moll, this is my fault…I should never have let my guard down…never let myself get distracted…"

Molly looked down at that feeling like obviously he blamed her for being said distraction…

"You're not safe as long as you're around me…" he told her and she looked at him again and shook her head.

"But I feel safest when I'm with you…"

"Molly…I'm sorry, but…" Bucky was interrupted as Shuri entered the lab, smiling warmly at the both of them but it took Molly and Bucky a moment before they looked away from one another and to her, but if she noticed, Shuri didn't say, merely continued on, "I trust the refreshments were to your liking….Molly…I would like if you would see one of our Doctors again before you are taken to your accommodations..." she looked at Bucky then, "…you, my friend, will remain here with me…"

Bucky nodded and went to stand, but Molly reached out and caught his metal hand with her own and he looked back at her, then said to Shuri, "Can you give us a minute?"

"Of course…" Shuri replied, making herself scarce by moving across the lab and seemingly busying herself with something.

Returning to his sitting position, Bucky twisted to face Molly again, but his eyes remained on her fingers where they lay against the silver of his.

"What were you going to say?" she asked quietly, fearing that she already knew and he sighed softly.

"I'm no good for you Molly…you deserve better than me…you deserve to be safe…to have a normal life…"

"Shouldn't that be for me to decide?" she asked and eventually he glanced upwards, cursing when he saw how her eyes were brimming with tears.

He gave her a sorrowful look, determined that this was how it needed to be between them now, but Molly shook her head.

"Is it really what you want?" she asked, one tear escaping to run down her cheek, but she ignored it, forcing herself to keep her eyes on his

"I can't be the man you need Molly, the man I want to be for you…not like this…." he said, unable to resist reaching out any longer to gently brush away her tears with his thumb.

"You already are the man I need….why aren't you hearing me?" she asked, getting angry with not just him, but herself too. She didn't want to make a scene or a fuss, but she also didn't want to let him go. How could she after everything?

"I'll wait….I'll wait for you…" she told him, her heart breaking as he lowered his head and she reached out to put her fingers beneath his chin, tipping his head back up.

"Tell me its not what you want," she demanded, "tell me that you feel nothing for me…that…"

He cut her off, his voice rumbling loudly across the lab.

"I almost killed you!"

"I don't care!" she shouted back and they stared at one another for a moment before Bucky shook his head again.

"But I do…" he told her and Molly's tears fell more freely as he stood. "Nothing will change my mind Molly…I'm sorry…look after yourself okay?"

He stood before her for a moment as though expecting an answer, but she couldn't move. She felt frozen and she stared ahead blankly, feeling the exact moment he slipped away from her even as his metal fingers let go of hers and he walked away and toward Shuri.

 ** **5 Weeks Later****

Time held little meaning for Molly since Bucky had ended things and had begun his treatment with Shuri. She had asked Steve if she could just go home or be taken somewhere else, but both he and T'Challa had refused her request straight away, telling her that Wakanda was the safest place for her.

She pined for Bucky and longed for something to do, some way to show her thanks for the wonderful apartment she had been given amongst the modern living spaces that some of the Wakandans enjoyed, but was told that because of security they could not let her assist. She felt hopeless and useless and very lonely and as she took herself on the walk that she took most days around the huge palace gardens, she was unaware that she was being watched from one of the windows high above.

"I worry for her…can we not give her something to occupy her mind? She offers daily to assist in the lab…her input could be helpful with Sergeant Barnes' treatment…" Shuri told her brother and T'Challa looked at his sister before glancing back down at the small woman from America, watching as she seemed to wander aimlessly about.

He sighed, weighing things up.

"How is our guest doing?" he asked and Shuri folded her arms.

"It is a slow process and just when I think we are gaining some ground, something seems to block his mind and he closes up again…it is frustrating and I fear it will take longer than I initially thought."

T'Challa nodded, wondering if he let the woman…Molly…help, it might speed things up and free up some of his sister's time.

"Very well…" he said, "…she can assist, but only to help Sergeant Barnes…not with anything else…"

"Yes brother," Shuri beamed and T'Challa gave her a look and shook his head as she scampered off, calling over her shoulder, "I will go and tell Molly now…."

T'Challa raised a hand and looked back out of the window to way beyond where the American stood, looking far into the distance, a niggling feeling in his gut that things would change for his people…and not necessarily for the better.

oOoOoOoOo

Molly was overjoyed when Shuri approached her in the gardens, informing her that T'Challa had given his permission for her to help with Bucky's treatment. She wasn't sure how Bucky would have felt, but since he was receiving the treatment whilst he was in a lightened cryogenic sleep, he wouldn't even know that she was there.

As Molly and Shuri walked to the lab, Molly asked, "Have you tried anything with the trigger words?"

Shuri frowned. "Trigger words?"

"Yes, the words that are spoken to activate the Soldier…." Molly replied and Shuri shook her head.

"I think Miss Molly, that my brother should have let you assist much sooner…."

 ** **3 Weeks Later****

Working with the trigger words had indeed proved helpful, moving Bucky's progress along greatly and though it had only been 8 weeks since they'd started, Shuri and Molly were confident that things were definitely moving in the right direction.

One afternoon, Shuri was running some tests whilst Bucky underwent a mind scan and Molly was watching and feeling decidedly under the weather. She leaned against the table and blew out a breath.

"Why don't you take some rest, hmm?" Shuri asked, glancing up from her work. "You have been in here every day without breaks."

"I'm okay…" Molly replied, glancing over to where Bucky lay motionless save for the flickering of his eyes beneath his lids.

Shuri sighed and with a small smile said, "He is not going anywhere…."

Molly looked back at her and blushed a little.

"I know, I just…" she shook her head, "…okay, maybe I'll go have a lie down, I feel…" she trailed off as somehow the world seemed to tilt and even though she felt herself falling, she couldn't stop herself and for a moment everything went black and when she next opened her eyes, one of the other scientists was leaning over her and alarms were going off left, right and centre from the machines that were hooked up to Bucky.

"What happened?" she murmured, trying to sit up, taking the hand the scientist offered as Shuri called over.

"You fainted Miss Molly…and as you did so, Sergeant Barnes here went into some kind of reactive meltdown…"

Molly frowned, but found the action made her head ache and just when she was about to get up, the doctor whom she had seen when she and Bucky had first arrived in Wakanda entered the lab and she looked up at him as he crouched by her side and after a brief assessment he called for a wheelchair and told her in no uncertain terms that she was going with him to the clinic and despite Molly's protests, he would brook no argument.

An hour or so later she sat looking out of a window in the clinic, her head spinning for an entirely different reason.

She was pregnant.

How could she not have known? How had she not thought that being intimate with Bucky would result in this? She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, resting a hand over her still relatively flat stomach. She was happy, but worried what Bucky might say…if she ever got the chance to tell him.

For the first time she didn't want to return to the lab to see him and so, when the doctor finally let her go, she headed to her apartment and opened all the widows and the balcony doors of the bedroom before lying on the bed. It was a fine day in Wakanda, the sun bright with a slight warm breeze and as she drifted into sleep, she couldn't help but wonder what the future might now hold for the three of them.

End of Chapter 12


	13. Chapter 13

****Date : 13.09.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 13**** ** **of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

No-one knew it, but when Bucky was brought into the lighter cryogenic sleep state, he was fully aware of what was going on around him. He couldn't speak or move, but his mind and brain could react. Shuri would probably have freaked if she knew he could feel and hear everything they did to him, but he didn't mind…anything he felt reminded him that he was alive and that he was still fighting to be him again. James Buchanan Barnes.

James.

Only his parents had used his given name when they had spoken to him, until recently that was and he felt his heart clench as he thought about Molly.

They'd been around eight weeks into things when he'd heard her voice in the lab and despite himself, he couldn't help but smile internally. He'd known she wouldn't do as he'd asked, but a part of him…a huge part…was glad. She wasn't giving up on him and that meant something to him…as did she. He'd had a lot of time to think and though he stood by his words; the fact that he was dangerous for her to be around, he couldn't deny that he missed her and he vowed that if this worked, if he got his mind back, then he would ask Molly to be with him…if that was what she still wanted.

The day she'd fainted in the lab had almost sent his heart rate into orbit and unable to move, his emotions had shown on the machines he was hooked up to. He'd waited anxiously to find out if she was alright after the doctor had taken her away to the clinic, but she hadn't returned that day and didn't for around a week, by which time he was going out of his mind with worry and not concentrating on his treatment.

 ** **OoOoOoOo****

Shuri looked up and smiled as Molly walked in one bright early morning.

"You look better…" she commented as they hugged. The two were becoming friends now and she knew of Molly's condition and had supported her decision to stay out of the lab for a time.

"I am glad you are back though," Shuri added as they broke apart, "Sergeant Barnes is not reacting well…he…it is strange…" she trailed off as she thought about the coincidence in Molly's absence and Bucky's decline in progress, wondering if there could be something in it.

"Well, I'm back now so he'd better shape himself…" Molly joked, looking down at Bucky as he lay still.

She had needed time to herself after finding out she was going to have his baby; which seemed ironic really given that she'd cried out not to be alone not too long ago. The time had done her good though and she seemed to have managed to put everything into perspective and each time Shuri had visited with her, she'd commented on how much calmer Molly seemed.

And somehow she was.

Shuri smiled and said, "Shall we start?"

"Absolutely."

 ** **FOUR MONTHS LATER****

"I think it would be best if I wasn't here when you wake him," Molly said, looking from Bucky to where Shuri stood on the opposite side of the lab table that he lay upon. "He…he probably wouldn't want me here and I don't want it to affect the results…"

Shuri reached out across Bucky and took Molly's hand.

"You could watch from up there…" and she pointed up to an observation level above the lab floor. "We can make the glass one sided so he will not see you."

Molly took a breath and covered her belly with her free hand. She was six months along now and though she was keeping a brave face on, she wished that Bucky was awake and that they could talk and decide what to do…she needed him and she missed him so badly.

"Alright…." she replied, squeezing Shuri's hand before releasing it and looking down at Bucky she gently touched her fingertips to his cheek. "Please let this work…" she whispered, leaning down to kiss the spot where her fingertips had touched. Looking at Shuri as she straightened she then turned away and headed up to the observation room, seeing the moment one of the scientists made the glass one way when a light lit on her side which meant it was activated and taking a breath, she waited.

As Shuri prepared to wake him fully, Bucky tried to hold onto the feeling of Molly's touch, her kiss to his cheek filling him with not just want and need, but hope too. Hope that this could be the day his life truly began again.

Slowly he began to feel the numbness leaving his limbs and they tingled as his body was brought back and eventually he felt able to move and blinking he opened his eyes, squinting at the brightness of the lab lights.

"Welcome back Sergeant….Bucky…" Shuri said with a smile, remembering that he had told her to call him that even though she still referred to him as Sergeant Barnes to everyone else.

"Hey…" he managed, his voice hoarse and croaky and he turned his head, taking in the lab and trying not to glance up to where he knew Molly was watching. He was aching to see her again; merely hearing her was no longer enough.

"We've woken you to try something…" Shuri began, "…you've been in a lightened cryogenic state for six months now and…"

"Six months!" Bucky replied, genuinely surprised. He knew he'd been aware of things…most things and had thought he'd kept a pretty good job at keeping track of time, but, he was shocked to hear it had been six months.

"Yes…" Shuri replied. "You have been responding well to treatment and we…I…think it is time that we see how your mind is working whilst you are fully awake."

"Okay…" Bucky replied, curious.

He was helped into a sitting position and given some water to sip and for a few minutes they merely monitored him until they were sure he was stable and then Shuri picked up a clipboard from a nearby desk.

"I'm going to read something to you…and we'll see how you respond…if I see that you are becoming agitated shall we say, then I will stop, alright?" she said and Bucky nodded, frowning when she asked, "Do you trust me Bucky?"

"Of course…" he replied and she nodded and looking back down at the clipboard, she began..

"Zhelaniye…Rzhavyy…Semnadtsat…"

Bucky's body tensed as Shuri spoke words that he had hoped never to hear again, but somehow he didn't feel the same…he felt almost detached from them and he nodded when Shuri glanced at him and so she went on….

"Rassvet…Pech…"

Up on the observation level, Molly held her breath, watching Bucky for any sign that the trigger words were having an effect upon him and all seemed to be going well until Shuri said, "Devyat…" which was 'nine', and then he seemed to become restless.

Bucky shook his head, feeling himself beginning to burn inside, his emotions becoming angry and irrational and Shuri put the clip board down as he bit out, "Stop!"

"Of course…" she told him, moving to his side, resting a hand upon his shoulder as his breathing slowly began to return to normal and when he eventually raised his eyes to look at her, she smiled softly at him. "There is progress yes? I believe your reactions to those words came much sooner in the past."

Bucky nodded, disappointment lodging itself in his heart despite Shuri's positiveness.

Sensing his mood, she said, "Bucky….you have come far and yes, we still have some work to do, but I still believe that this will work and that you will have your mind back…" she smiled at him and he offered her the best smile he could muster in return and up in the observation room, Molly wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Come now…" Shuri went on, "…let's run through some memory tests and see if your past is any clearer…"

Bucky nodded and with the help of two other scientists he was put into a wheelchair and Shuri took him to another part of the lab and it was at that point that Molly took the opportunity to sneak out. She needed some air; the disappointment that they had not quite managed to crack the code on Bucky's trapped mind weighing heavily upon her.

Later, Shuri caught up with her and asked her if she would like to take a walk. Molly agreed and they strolled out beyond the palace gardens and toward the more rural part of the Kingdom. As they walked Molly asked, "How is he? What happened after I left?"

Shuri sighed a little and replied, "Sergeant Barnes is frustrated…but…his memories are beginning to come back to him. He recalled moments from his childhood and events that were close to his capture by HYDRA in 1944…he also…" she trailed off and Molly looked at her and after a moment, Shuri went on, "…he also recalled some of the things that were done to him back then, horrible things…experiments…tests….torture…"

Molly looked away as tears clouded Shuri's image and they paused halfway up a hill as they were, Molly wrapping her arms about herself even as Shuri placed a slim arm about her shoulders.

"I should have gotten him out sooner…" Molly said, feeling sick with the thought of the pain Bucky was in. "I should have done more…stopped what they were doing to him…."

"How could you?" Shuri asked, "What could you have done on your own against people such as those?"

Molly shook her head, tears blinding her.

"I should have done _something!"_ she cried and Shuri tightened her hold upon her.

"They would have killed you, you know this…" she said, then added, "…please, Miss Molly…do not distress yourself this way…the baby…" she trailed off as Molly took a hiccuping breath and seemingly tried to calm herself and when she was more composed, Shuri pointed to the top of the hill.

"Think you can make it there?" she asked and Molly nodded and together they slowly headed to the top where some large boulders provided seating and when they were settled, Molly looked out and was amazed to see in the distance what looked like a village of huts.

"What is that?" she asked and Shuri smiled.

"That is where some of our people reside…those who prefer the old ways…the traditional ways. You may visit with them some time if you wish…"

Molly looked away from Shuri and back toward the huts.

"Thank you…I might just do that…"

They fell into silence for a few moments before quietly, Molly inquired, "Did he ask about me?" already knowing the answer when it took Shuri too long to answer. "It's alright…I didn't think he would, but I…." she stopped as Shuri interrupted.

"But you hoped he would."

Molly nodded.

"Give him time…" Shuri said and Molly ran a hand over her ever growing belly, a sigh escaping her. She supposed that time was all she had, but then why did she get the feeling it was running out?

End of Chapter 13


	14. Chapter 14

****Date : 18.09.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 14**** ** **of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 ** **TWO MONTHS LATER****

Bucky opened his eyes and looked around the lab, eventually focussing on Shuri who smiled brightly at him.

"Good morning Bucky," she said, pressing one or two buttons on the machine at his side. "How are you feeling?"

He grunted a little, his eyes glancing around again and Shuri sighed softly. She had a feeling that she knew who he was looking for, but stubborn as he was, she knew he would not ask, just as Molly had stopped coming to the lab around a month ago, instead spending her time at the old village, preparing a hut of her own and helping to teach some of the children English and to those who were interested, a little bit of basic science. Shuri knew that Molly hadn't given up on Bucky; knew by the way her eyes filled with hope each time she visited her with a report of his progress, only to see the light fade when she was told that there was no change.

"How does your shoulder feel?" Shuri asked, turning her thoughts back to the matter at hand. Yesterday they had removed the metal arm that the US Government had fitted when they had taken Bucky from Wakanda; Shuri wondering if perhaps the nerves that were connected to the arm were also somehow interfering with the workings of his mind.

Bucky rolled his shoulder and angled his head from side to side, flexing the muscles and sinews.

"Feels alright," he replied, mustering a smile and Shuri couldn't help but touch a hand to his face.

"I know you might not feel like it, but you have come so far and I am certain that we are getting somewhere now," she told him and he nodded, sighing deeply.

"Rest for a moment, hmmm? Drink some water and we will try the trigger word experiment once again."

Bucky closed his eyes and tried to summon some inner strength from somewhere. Despite the fact that he'd spent the best part of eight months in cryogenic sleep, albeit a lightened one, he felt bone weary and even though he didn't look it, he felt every bit the hundred year old that he was.

"I just want this to be over…" he told Shuri, feeling lower than he had in many a long year, "…I miss…." he swallowed hard and looked away and it was Shuri's turn to sigh again.

"I understand…" she said, squeezing his good shoulder, "…but this will all be worth it, you will see."

Bucky raised his eyes and they met Shuri's and under her confident gaze, he eventually nodded and slowly reached for the glass of water she offered him.

OoOoOoOoO

It now took Molly much longer to make the walk from the apartment building to the old village than it had done when Shuri had first shown her the way; her pregnancy only a few weeks away from being full term and slowing her down.

She had found such peace since she'd begun to spend time with the 'old ones' and some of the youngsters who lived in the valley had taken a liking to her. Even some of the women who were her own age had taken her under there wing, showing her how to dress traditionally and allowing her to have one of the unused huts to make a home.

"Your man will eventually join you here, yes?" one of the women had asked one day and Molly had smiled as best she could and nodded, the ability to speak abandoning her as she tried not to cry at their kindness and at the thought that Bucky may never see the village or the hut she was trying to turn into a home, or even their baby for that matter.

She stopped helping in the lab at that point, unable to bear seeing him and not speak with him or touch him or tell him how much she still wanted and needed him. It was too much and she wasn't strong enough, not now, not when she needed to be strong for the baby too.

Eventually she reached her hut and put the few things she had carried from the apartment inside…it was just some blankets and pillows and some pencils and note pads for the children…and as she stepped back out into the morning sun, a strange shiver of nervous excitement made its way up and down her spine and she cradled her 'bump' protectively.

"Just another day…" she murmured softly, smiling as she caught sight of some of the children heading her way.

OoOoOoOoO

"Again!" Bucky demanded as Shuri finished reading all of the trigger words for the fourth time without them seemingly having any effect upon him.

"Bucky, I think…." she began, but he cut her off, an excitement in his eyes that she had never seen before. "Again! Please…Shuri…I have to be sure…."

Shuri nodded and once again began to repeat the dreaded words, watching Bucky closely as he stayed perfectly still, not a muscle twitching as she went through every single word again without effect.

"It's worked!" Bucky said, sounding incredulous and Shuri smiled fondly.

"You needn't sound so surprised…" she commented teasingly and he held a hand up in apology, but she waved it away. "We will need to keep monitoring you for a while, but I think that it is high time we let you get out of this lab."

Bucky looked at her as though he was trying to gauge how serious she was and she felt so bad for him. He was clearly so used to being told what he could and couldn't do…

"I can show you where you can stay if you'd like…" she said, adding, "…I don't think you need to sleep here any longer…we have apartments…"

Bucky tried to take in what she was saying, tried to let it sink in that he was finally free of HYDRA, but he couldn't think straight and he wouldn't, not until he saw the woman who had helped his freedom become a reality.

"Where's Molly?" he asked, interrupting Shuri as she was explaining how part of Wakanda was old and part more modernised.

"Molly….she…." she began, but Bucky said, "I need to see her Shuri…is she still here?"

Shuri nodded and taking a breath said, "Let me get you something better to wear and I will take you to her."

"Thank you," Bucky replied, watching as she headed away and he looked down at the white vest and lab pants that he wore, grateful when Shuri returned shortly after with some sweat pants and a T-shirt. She left him to change and returned when he was ready, passing him a pair of boots which he slipped on and she helped him to tie the laces when she realised at the same time as he that he couldn't do it yet one handed.

"This'll take a bit of getting used to…" he said, embarrassment highlighting his cheek bones and Shuri smiled at him reassuringly.

"Perhaps you should eat something first…before we head out…" she said, wanting to make sure that he was truly ready, but Bucky gave her a look which clearly said that all he was interested in right then, was seeing Molly.

"Come then…" she said, leading him from the lab and as they walked through a myriad of corridors and hallways, Bucky was surprised at how no-one seemed concerned by his presence. Something else that would take some getting used to.

As they passed through the palace gardens, he did actually pause to take in some of the scenery and breathe in the air, closing his eyes and tipping his face toward the sun for a few moments and Shuri watched him, hoping that he would make a full recovery, but his past had been a traumatic one and even though he had control of his mind back it was like a double edged sword because now, all of his suppressed memories could and most likely would return and crowd in on him. She just hoped he was still strong enough to not let them destroy him.

As Bucky followed Shuri out into a more rural area he asked her, "Do you think that Molly will want to talk to me?"

Shuri looked at him as they began to crest the same hill where she and Molly had sat some weeks previously.

"I think you must judge that for yourself…" she began, but upon seeing the look of uncertainty that crossed his face, she added, "…but if I had to hazard a guess, I would say yes."

Bucky let out a relieved breath and nodded, looking forward as they reached the top of the hill they had been climbing, his breath catching again as he took in the village below.

"This is beautiful…" he told Shuri, who beamed proudly.

"It is….they live the old ways here. It is a calming, peaceful place. You will be welcomed."

Bucky shook his head, his eyes growing hot with emotion.

"I can never repay you for what you've done for me…" he told her and Shuri reached out to rub his arm.

"Seeing you free is payment enough," she replied and after a moment, she gave him an encouraging nudge and nodded to the valley below. "Miss Molly is down there," she told him and Bucky swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and after a nod of further encouragement from Shuri, he headed down toward the village.

OoOoOoOo

"Alright that's enough work for today," Molly said to the children who were gathered around her, eager to learn anything she was willing to teach them, but the same mixture of nerves and excitement that she'd felt first thing that morning was still making her feel on edge now and she couldn't concentrate. As the children began to clamber up off of the ground before her, she managed to get up from the log she had been sitting on, arching her spine to ease out the kinks, her belly protruding as she stretched.

Suddenly the noisy children grew quiet and Molly frowned and opening her eyes she turned to see what they were looking at, a gasp escaping her as the most beautiful sight greeted her.

"James!"

OoO

Bucky had been able to observe Molly with the children for a little while before they had begun to move. She looked happy…healthy…her auburn hair had grown from how he remembered it and now it tumbled in even wilder curls around her breasts and back and he had watched as the sun caught it. Her hair had always captured his attention….

Jeez, but how he wanted to take her in his arms and ask her to forgive him, to ask her if she still wanted him, if she would….

His thoughts trailed off as she stood and turned side on to where he was and he watched as she arched her back and even without the aid of the sun making the long pale dress she wore almost transparent he could see the perfect 'bump' of her belly sticking out and for a moment he had to brace himself against the tree he was hiding behind, dipping his head as he fought for breath.

For a split second, the thought that she was with someone else now flitted through his mind and a surge of jealousy almost sent his mind spiralling, but he clung onto his equilibrium much as he clung one-handed to the tree before him, his brain telling him what he should have already known. They had been apart for around eight months and her belly was too big for the baby not to be his…

A baby….a kid…his kid….

He shook his head and composed himself. He stepped out from behind the tree and walked closer, the children falling silent as they spotted him and when Molly turned to see him, he felt like his heart would burst with need as she all but whispered his name.

End of Chapter 14


	15. Chapter 15

****Date : 02.10.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 15**** ** **of ?****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Molly took a step toward Bucky, then another and another until she was all but running…if you could call a pregnant waddle a run…toward him and her action awoke him from his stunned immobility and he too began to stride toward her until finally they met and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her as close as her belly would allow.

"Oh God…James…." Molly cried, throwing her arms about his neck, squeezing him as tightly as she could without crushing both him and their unborn child.

"It's good to see you Moll…" Bucky said, his voice hoarse, "….so good…" He buried his face in the crook of her neck and Molly felt tears building in her eyes, her heart aching with so many different emotions. She held him, felt him trembling as much as she and wondered how to ask all the questions she had; wondered how to tell him how much she loved him still.

"Can you forgive me?" Bucky asked, his voice muffled against her hair as he nuzzled at her and Molly swallowed, hardly daring to breathe, let alone hope….

She pulled back enough to see him, moving her hands to cup his face and when he raised his eyes to hers she asked, "For what? You have done nothing wrong…"

"I ended things…left you alone and letting you think that you weren't what I wanted…what I needed…what I __need__ …" he shook his head, "…if I'd known…" he ran his hand around from her waist to cradle the side of her belly and it was Molly's turn to shake her head and covering his hand with hers she said, "If you'd known your decision would have had to have been the same. I understand…it's alright…" she smiled softly and added, "…I didn't at the time, but I do now."

Bucky took a shaky breath and looking at her belly asked, "How long?"

"Just a few weeks left. I hoped…" she paused as her voice wobbled with emotion, "….I hoped that you could be with me, that you'd be here…be free before…." she met his eyes again and asked, "Has it worked? Shuri's trials with the trigger words?"

Bucky nodded, moving his hand from her belly to cup her cheek, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that in a few short weeks he would become a father.

"I know you helped..." he said, his eyes meeting hers again and he smiled at the shock on her face. "Sometimes I was more awake than Shuri realised and I heard almost everything…"

Molly opened her mouth but no sound came out, her cheeks blushing as she recalled some of the conversations she had had with Shuri and all probably within earshot of Bucky.

"It's alright…" he assured her, wanting to kiss her so badly, "…hearing your voice kept me going. Knowing that you hadn't given up on me despite me all but telling you to meant a lot to me. Molly, __you__ mean a lot to me…"

Molly looked up at him and could no longer hold the words in, her heart refusing to hold back any longer.

"I love you….I always have….I would never give up on you…."

Bucky released the breath he'd been holding in a rush and bent his head to hers, his lips brushing hers as he told her, "I love you too Moll…will you….will you be with me? Will you let me make an honest woman of you?"

Molly couldn't help the emotional giggle that escaped her at his words, old fashioned as they were and she drew back to look at him, about to tease him when she saw the seriousness of his expression and hers sobered as she searched his eyes.

"My momma would never forgive me if I got a girl into trouble and didn't do the right thing by her…." he said and Molly blinked.

"But you….we…" she stuttered, "…is that really what you want? I don't expect…"

"I love you…I love that you're about to give me what I haven't had for so long…a family. My family, you, me and junior here…" Bucky caressed her belly again and then looked at her, waiting for her answer.

Molly thought her heart would burst with happiness and slowly she began to nod, the movement becoming faster as Bucky began to smile and as he hugged her to him she cried, "Yes! Yes I'll let you make an honest woman of me…."

OoOoOo

The wedding had been a simple affair; one of the village elders officiated and Shuri and T'Challa were witnesses along with some of the villagers and their children. Molly had worn wild flowers in her hair and a plain white dress and as they had exchanged vows, Bucky had told her that he had never seen anyone more beautiful than she.

Her wedding ring had been provided by T'Challa and despite his assurances that it could be his gift to them, Bucky had insisted that he do something in way of payment. He still had pride and he wanted to feel like he had gotten Molly the ring and so he and the King had agreed that Bucky would manage a small farm not too far from the old village. It would be his and Molly's home and they would work the land and contribute in whatever way they were needed. It had also been agreed that this arrangement would only start once Molly had given birth. Shuri had insisted that Bucky have time to regain his strength and be able to be by Molly's side as her time grew closer.

T'Challa had not objected and for that Bucky was grateful, if not a bit suspicious, though he tried to tell himself that he was just being over cautious…hard not to be he supposed in light of everything he had been through.

The farm house, more like a cabin since it was made mostly of wood and thatch, needed work and so the first week after they were married they spent their days there, sprucing it up and their nights in the apartment that Molly had been given and it was sometime into their second week as a married couple that Bucky's nightmares began.

At first they were not enough to wake him or Molly, but as time went on he became more restless, waking first himself up in a cold sweat and then as his restlessness became more violent, he woke Molly, his arm and clenched fist pounding into the mattress where she had lain only moments before as he fought some faceless enemy….

The next morning they had gone to see Shuri and she had suggested that they continue on with therapy; Bucky had also suggested that he sleep elsewhere, at least until the baby was born…he didn't want to hurt Molly or their baby and though Molly wanted to object, having gotten used to their nightly routine of making slow, lingering, love before falling asleep wrapped around one another, she could see that this time, he was right and so they made sure that one of the huts near to the farm was ready for him to use, Bucky insisting that he wouldn't stay in the house until Molly was with him.

The first morning that Bucky woke there he found the children of the village peering at him and as he stepped outside wearing a red tartan sarong and blue sling around his shoulder, Shuri was waiting for him. She smiled at him as he approached.

"Good morning Sergeant Barnes," she said and he gave her a look and said, "Bucky…" It was like a routine with them now….almost like a private joke.

"How are you feeling?" Shuri asked.

"Good…" Bucky replied, realising that he did feel that way despite another restless night, then he added, "…thank you…."

Shuri smiled again and reached out to pat his flat stomach. "Come…..much more for you to learn…"

As she moved away, Bucky remained staring out at the water that stretched before him, before he turned to follow Shuri and as they headed toward the more populated area where her lab was situated he asked, "What do you think could be causing the nightmares?"

"You had another one last night?" she asked and when he nodded, she went on, "Probably your suppressed memories. Talking with a therapist might help…"

"You really think that might be all it will take?" Bucky asked, hopeful.

"Perhaps…but do not underestimate how much time it might take. Someone such as yourself, with all you have been through…it could take a long time to crack even the surface of what troubles your mind. Patience must be your key."

Bucky nodded, taking in what she said and he looked over at her as she added, "Also, you must speak with Molly too. Tell her about the dreams. You mustn't bottle things up and keep things from her….she knows of your past, do not be afraid to talk to her about it, even the…" she paused before adding, "…even the darker times."

Bucky took a breath. Yes Molly knew who he had been, what he had done….but to go into detail…

He looked away from the more modern buildings that they approached and back toward the lush green fields, wishing that he was 'normal', that he could be the Bucky he had once been.

Sensing his melancholy, Shuri touched his shoulder to bring his gaze back to her.

"Bucky, I will help you as much as I can, please, do not worry. All will be well…all __is__ well is it not? You have your mind back, a wife now and a child on the way, that is more than you would once ever have believed you could have, no?"

Bucky smiled at the mention of Molly and the baby and he nodded, "Yes…yes it is…you're right, I have a lot to be thankful for, I know that…."

Shuri squeezed his arm and released it as they neared the entrance to the lab and as they stepped inside Bucky said, "Oh, I keep meaning to ask…." Shuri looked at him expectantly and he went on, "Is there any way I can contact Steve?"

"I will speak with my brother…" Shuri replied and as Bucky nodded his thanks, they headed for the lab.

Once Bucky was settled with another member of her team, Shuri went to speak to T'Challa about Bucky's request, but did not expect the response that she received.

"No…." her brother answered, "…that is, there is a way for Steve Rogers to be contacted, but at the moment I do not believe it is a good time for Sergeant Barnes to speak with his old friend."

"But why not?" Shuri asked, only to receive one of her brother's 'do not press me' looks.

"Just believe me when I say it is in his best interests that he not speak with him just yet. He will see him soon enough."

Shuri frowned, but knew it was no good to try and get more from T'Challa when he was in this frame of mind.

"What will I tell him then?" she asked and T'Challa sighed.

"Tell him that Steve Rogers will contact him when the time is right."

Frowning again, Shuri scowled, but turned to leave.

OoO

That evening as Molly and Bucky ate dinner at the apartment, Bucky mulled over what Shuri had said.

"What did T'Challa mean, Steve will contact me when the time is right?"

Molly watched as Bucky stewed over the response he'd gotten to his question about contacting Steve. She rubbed her belly absently, a nagging ache having irritated her for most of the day.

"I don't know…" she replied softly, reaching out to rub his forearm where it lay on the table, "…maybe Steve is laying low. When I spoke to him last he did say that it might be a while before he could get in touch again…"

"Did you tell him about the baby?" Bucky asked, for some reason feeling a little bothered by the fact that his best friend might have found out about his baby before he did and felt unnecessary relief flood him as Molly shook her head.

"No…I wanted you to be able to do that," she smiled at him and he looked sheepishly back at her, feeling almost like she could read his thoughts, but in this case he knew it was a good thing. Wasn't that how it was supposed to be with someone who cared about you?

"I don't doubt that Steve has a lot on his plate," Bucky said, "I just…I just want him to know, about me, about us, the baby…"

"I know…." Molly replied, standing, her intention to go to him, "…and you will get to tell him, it'll…..oh….." she paused and winced as pain radiated around her belly and she bent, her hands gripping the edge of the table as all her breath seemed to leave her.

Bucky was up out of his seat and by her side in an instant, his hand resting on her back.

"Moll?" he asked, concern lacing his tone.

"I think…" she replied when she had recovered enough to speak, "…I think baby Barnes is ready to meet us…"

"Shit…." Bucky replied and Molly couldn't help but laugh at the look of pure fear that crossed her husband's handsome face.

End of Chapter 15


	16. Chapter 16

****Date : 14.11.18****

 ** **Title : Memory In My Heart****

Author : ElaineDex

 ** **Chapter : 16**** ** **of 16****

 ** **Rating : M****

 ** **Pairings : Bucky/OC****

 ** **Warnings : Some Sexual Content, Romance, Angst, Maybe Some Strong Language.****

 ** **Spoilers**** ** **and A/N**** ** **: Possible references to The Winter Soldier, Civil War, Black Panther (I have not seen Black Panther or Infinity War, nor do I claim to be an expert on The Avengers so please forgive any discrepancies. I am working off of things I have read and movies and trailers that I have seen. Thank you.****

Disclaimer : I do not own anything to do with the Marvel franchise. This plot and any O/C's are mine.

 ** **Summary : (AU) Can a memory from Bucky**** **'** ** **s time as The Winter Soldier save him from having to live that kind of life again or will the darkness consume him and lead him to kill everyone he now holds dear?****

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bucky tried not to wince as Molly squeezed his hand, giving a low, growling moan as another contraction took her and even though Bucky had hated his metal arm, he had to concede that it would have been beneficial in this instance and he bit his lip as Molly's nails dug just a little deeper.

"You're doing great Moll…" he told her once her grip had loosened and he felt he could speak without sounding pained, after all, he was hardly in as much agony as she.

"I need to push," she replied, her eyes turning to the midwife who was attending her.

"Not yet Mrs Barnes…not yet…" the woman replied and Molly let out another growl of frustration and tried to relax in between contractions, as she'd been told to, but it was getting harder and harder, the pain more unbearable.

She laid her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling the sweat running from her hairline and she could have cried when she felt Bucky dabbing gently at her skin with a towel.

"Thank you…" she murmured softly, her eyes opening and as a moment of panic gripped her she asked irrationally, "You won't leave me will you?"

"I'm going nowhere…" Bucky replied reassuringly, bending to kiss her forehead, "…I wouldn't miss this for anything…" Indeed, he had been surprised to learn that he was even allowed to be by Molly's side at all throughout the birth. He remembered how it was back when he was a kid and even just before he'd signed up; men were told in no uncertain terms to wait in another room of the house whilst their wives birthed their children and there was no going to any hospital that was for sure.

He looked around the bright, clean room that Molly had been given in the Wakandan hospital and was grateful for medical advancement.

As Molly lifted her head again, he felt her grip tighten on his hand and he steeled himself as another contraction left her gasping and red in the face.

From that point on things got more intense until eventually, and much to Bucky's relief, Molly gave one final push and their child was born and both he and a panting Molly watched as the midwife checked the baby and announced, "Congratulations! You have a son…" and as if on cue, the baby let out his first cry before settling as he was placed on Molly's chest.

"A son…" Bucky murmured, sounding in awe as he bent to kiss first Molly's forehead and then the baby's.

Molly smiled and nuzzled at the baby before resting her head back on the pillow to look up at Bucky.

"What shall we call him?" she asked as the midwife began to fuss around her.

"I…I'm not sure…" Bucky replied, one name coming to his mind, but they hadn't discussed what to call their child up to that moment and he wasn't sure how to broach his thoughts, but, almost as though she could read his mind again, Molly asked, "What was your father called?"

Bucky smiled and shook his head.

"George…" he replied, looking at the baby and Molly reached to catch Bucky's hand.

"George James Barnes…."

They exchanged a look and the silent decision was made.

 **OoOoOoOoO**

For the first couple of weeks after George was born, Molly stayed with him at the apartment as it was easier to deal with a newborn in a place that had good facilities and it was only when she felt she had recovered from the birth herself did she, Bucky and the baby move into the farm house.

Life was simple, but it was good and Bucky had never felt happier; even his mind gave him a break as the nightmares stopped.

"Do not get too complacent about them though," Shuri warned as they left her lab one day, "They might yet return, so be prepared…do not let them take from you what you have worked to build."

The warning had sounding a little ominous, but Bucky had tried to brush it off as he walked home, Shuri's words forgotten as he entered the farm house to find Molly feeding George and he watched, spellbound as his child suckled at his mother's breast.

 **OoOo**

It was two months until Bucky's next nightmare and waking in a cold sweat, he left the house early to tend the animals, trying his hardest to wipe the dream from his mind…images of war and lives lost haunting him until he made to return home and the dream became a reality.

On the edge of the field where he had been working, T'Challa awaited him, a long box sat on a table, its lid open, a few soldiers dotted here and there, watching.

Bucky approached, looking at T'Challa who appeared sombre.

It took Bucky a moment before he could bring himself to look at the contents of the box, almost already knowing what he would see when he did….and he wasn't wrong.

The arm was a magnificent piece of work, art and technology and a part of him could see and appreciate that much at least…the rest….

Sighing deeply he murmured, "Where's the fight?"

"On it's way…" T'Challa replied, looking truly sorry for bringing this to Bucky's door.

Somehow resigned, Bucky followed the King back to Shuri's lab, listening to the explanation for the new arm and the reason he was needed…the new enemy that threatened not just Wakanda, but the world.

T'Challa continued to speak whilst Shuri fitted Bucky with the arm and he carefully avoided her eyes, not wanting her to see how much he hated this…how much he didn't want this…he didn't want her to think he was ungrateful for all she had done for him…how much they ALL had done for him.

Much later he returned home, moving his arm this way and that, getting used to the feel of it and when he stepped inside the house, he turned his body so that Molly wouldn't see it straight away.

"Hey…" she said softly, placing George down in his basket, "…we were starting to get worried. You don't normally stay out all day…are the goats okay?"

"They're fine…" he replied, but his assurance only made Molly frown and she stepped closer to him, her eyes searching his face and he looked down as she said, "And what about you? James, what's the matter?"

Taking a breath, he slowly turned to face her so that she would see the new arm and for a moment she merely stared before in the end, the urge to touch it proved too much and she traced her fingertips over the intricate markings that were engraved in it.

"It's Vibranium…" she stated, sounding a little in shock.

"So I'm told…" Bucky replied, his tone making her lift her eyes to his and what she saw there was not good.

"Why?" she asked, her voice low and Bucky knew what she was asking.

"There's a new threat…a new enemy…they need everyone…"

"But you…" Molly shook her head, "…you've done enough! I don't understand….what threat? What enemy?"

Bucky reached for her as her voice began to get louder, his hands holding the tops of her arms.

"I have to help Moll. Steve and the others are coming too…they'll be here in a couple of days and now we know why he hasn't been in touch…"

Molly shook her head, denial raging through her. "No! Not you…not now…George needs you! __I__ need you!"

As tears blurred her vision, Bucky pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes as a whole world of pain threatened to engulf him. Molly clung to him, burying her face against his shoulder. A part of her knew he had to do what was right, that if he could help the Wakandans face this new threat, then he should, but oh how unfair she felt it all to be. Bucky had been through enough and he didn't deserve this.

"When this is over…we should leave…we should go somewhere where we…" she hiccuped through her tears and Bucky pulled back enough to cup her face with his own hand.

"Come to bed…" he told her, "…I need to love you…"

Molly nodded and swallowed her tears, unmistakeable desire running through her at his words, her own need to be close to him allowing her to temporarily block everything else out and checking that George was safe and sleeping soundly, she let Bucky lead her through to the bedroom.

 **OoOoOoOo**

The morning of the inevitable came and at first Molly refused to acknowledge that Bucky was leaving. It was only when he emerged from the bedroom dressed in combat style clothes that she stopped what she was doing, her hands shaking too badly for her to continue on and Bucky took them in his.

"It'll be alright…" he told her softly and though she wanted to believe him, a terrible sense of foreboding had been growing within her for days now.

She nodded and swallowed tears as best she could as Bucky released her hands and crossed to where George lay in his basket, watching as he scooped the baby up and cradled him.

"You know that you have to evacuate to the palace grounds before nightfall?" Bucky said, knowing already that she did, he just wanted to hear her confirm it again.

"Yes…" Molly said, feeling cold and numb, the thought of him having to leave making her feel sick with fear.

Kissing the back and breathing in his unique baby scent for a moment, Bucky then lay George back down and crossed to Molly, pulling her into his arms to hold her tightly.

"You know I can't promise you Moll, but you have to know I will do everything I can to come back to you both…"

Molly nodded, unable to speak, holding him tightly instead and returning the kisses that he gave her until eventually he moved away and headed for the door, where he stopped and turned back to look at her.

"I love you…" he told her and through her tears she replied, "And I love you…"

Then he was gone.

 **OoOoOoOo**

Bucky couldn't help the wry smile that came to his face as he walked toward Steve from behind T'Challa. They hugged and Steve smiled and asked, "How you been Buck?"

"Not bad…for the end of the world…"

There was something almost comforting about knowing he was going into battle with Steve at his side. It gave him hope…

 ** **24 Hours Later****

The explosions were getting closer, Molly was sure. She cradled George against her as the people around them began to panic. There were cries of, "We should leave here…" and "Save yourselves…" and as she tried to make her way toward the part of the palace where Shuri's lab was, chaos seemed to erupt all around her.

Picking up her pace, she all but ran through the corridors, the explosion ahead of her taking her by surprise and what happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. As smoke and debris flew toward her, she turned, wanting to protect George from the blast, but he stuck one of his little arms out like he was waving and somehow deflected a huge piece of metal pipework before it hit them, sending it flying in the opposite direction as it glanced off of his tiny hand.

Molly screamed, thinking that her two month old son would have serious injuries to his small hand and arm, but when she crouched down, hunched over him as the dust from the blast settled and checked him, he seemed perfectly fine and for a moment she struggled to understand and then it hit her.

The super soldier serum that Bucky had been injected with must have somehow transferred to his son. How was that even possible? Was it even possible?

Molly looked down at her innocent baby and felt a whole host of emotions run through her. If it was true and if anyone ever found out….

Standing, she tucked George more closely against her and picked her way through the rest of the damaged corridor. If she could just get to the lab she might be able to test George and find out if what she had seen was some incredible fluke or if indeed hers and Bucky's son had Winter Soldier Serum in his DNA.

 **OoOoOoOo**

Time had lost meaning for Steve, indeed the same could be said for everyone who had fought and lost someone in this fight. His feet felt heavy as he made his way toward the area where he had been told Molly had been moved to, his eyes meeting hers across the room full of the injured and he saw how she held hers and Bucky's son against her as though he could ward off the bad news that he had to deliver.

He came to a stop before her and she looked up at him, tears already filling her eyes.

"Molly…" he began, but she shook her head and he paused, wondering if to give her the tiniest bit of hope that he himself was clinging to, the look of intense loss and pain on her face persuading him that it was worth it.

"He might not be gone…there may be a way…"

 **The End**


End file.
